"Mr. Markham's butler, sir, at your service," said Whittingham, bowing with awe-inspiring stiffness: "and I may say, without exag-gerating, sir, and in no wise compromising my indefatigable character for weracity, that I'm also Mr. Markham's confidential friend. And what's more, gen'leman," added the butler, glancing proudly around the room, "Mr. Richard Markham is the finest young man about this stupendous city of the whole universe--and that's as true as that this is a hand." As Mr. Whittingham concluded this sentence, he extended his arm to display the hand relative to which he expressed such confidence; and while he flourished the arm to give weight to his language, the aforesaid hand encountered the right eye of the dissenting parson. "A case of assault and battery," instantly exclaimed Mr. Mac Chizzle, the lawyer; "and here are upwards of a dozen witnesses for the plaintiff." "I really beg the gentleman's pardon," said Whittingham. "Special jury--sittings after term--damages five hundred pounds;" exclaimed Mac Chizzle. "No harm was intended," observed Suggett. "Not a bit," added Snoggles. "Verdict for Plaintiff--enter up judgment--issue execution--_ca. sa._ in no time," said Mac Chizzle doggedly. "I am used to flagellations and persecutions at the hands of the ungodly," said the Reverend Mr. Drummer, rubbing his eye with his fist, and thereby succeeding in inflaming it. "Perhaps the reverend gentleman wouldn't take it amiss if I was to offer him my apologies in a extra powerful glass of brandy and water?" exclaimed Whittingham. "Bribery," murmured Mac Chizzle. "No, let us have a bowl of punch at once," exclaimed Suggett. "And corruption," added the lawyer. The bowl of punch was ordered, and the company generally was invited to partake of it. Even Mr. Mac Chizzle did not hesitate; and the dissenting minister, in order to convince Mr. Whittingham that he entirely forgave him, consented to partake of the punch so often that he at length began slapping Mr. Whittingham upon the back, and declaring that he was the best fellow in the world. The conversation became general; and some of it is worth recording. "I hope to have your patronage, sir, for my circulating library," said Mr. Cobbington to the butler. "Depends, sir, upon the specified nature of the books it contains," was the reply. "I have nothing but moral romances in which vice is always punished and virtue rewarded." "That conduct of yours is highly credulous to you." "All books is trash, except one," observed Mr. Drummer, winking his eyes in an extraordinary manner. "They teaches naught but swearing, lewd conversation, ungodliness, and that worst of all vices--intemperance." "I beg you to understand, sir," exclaimed Mr. Guffins, who had hitherto remained a silent spectator of the proceedings, although a persevering partaker of the punch; "I beg you to understand, Mr. Drummer, my works, sir, are not the trash you seem to allude to."