For the sake of economy, there was lighted for the whole household but
one fire and a single lamp, around which the occupations and amusements
of all were grouped. A fine big family lamp, whose old painted
shade--night scenes pierced with shining dots--had been the astonishment
and the joy of every one of those young girls in her early childhood.
Issuing softly from the shadow of the room, four young heads were bent
forward, fair or dark, smiling or intent, into that intimate and warm
circle of light which illumined them as far as the eyes, seemed to feed
the fire of their glance, to shelter them, protect them, preserve them
from the black cold blowing outside, from phantoms, from snares, from
miseries and terrors, from all the sinister things that a winter night
in Paris brings forth in the remoteness of its quiet suburbs.
Thus, drawn close together in a small room at the top of the lonely
house, in the warmth, the security of their comfortable home, the
Joyeuse household seems like a nest right at the top of a lofty
tree. The girls sew, read, chat a little. A leap of the lamp-flame,
a crackling of fire, is what you may hear, with from time to time an
exclamation from M. Joyeuse, a little removed from his small circle,
lost in the shadow where he hides his anxious brow and all the
extravagance of his imagination. Just now he is imagining that in
the distress into which he finds himself driven beyond possibility
of escape, in that absolute necessity of confessing everything to his
children, this evening, at latest to-morrow, an unhoped-for succour may
come to him. Hemerlingue, seized with remorse, sends to him, as to
all those who took part in the work connected with the Tunis loan, his
December gratuity. A tall footman brings it: “On behalf of M. le Baron.”
The visionary says those words aloud. The pretty faces turn towards him;
the girls laugh, move their chairs, and the poor fellow awakes suddenly
to reality.
Oh, how angry he is with himself now for his delay in confessing all,
for that false security which he has maintained around him and which he
will have to destroy at a blow. What need had he, too, to criticise that
Tunis loan? At this moment he even reproaches himself for not having
accepted a place in the Territorial Bank. Had he the right to refuse?
Ah, the sorry head of a family, without strength to keep or to defend
the happiness of his own! And, glancing at the pretty group within
the circle of the lamp-shade, whose reposeful aspect forms so great a
contrast with his own internal agitation, he is seized by a remorse so
violent for the weakness of his soul that his secret rises to his lips,
is about to escape him in a burst of sobs, when the ring of a bell--no
chimera, that--gives them all a start and arrests him at the very moment
when he was about to speak.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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