Nevertheless it is true that the American woman of whatever origin has a
will of her own as no other woman has. Since the expression of will is
one of the chief sources of human pleasures, one of the chief, most
persistent activities, man and wife enter into a contest for supremacy
in the household. It may be settled quietly and without even recognizing
its existence, on the common plan that the woman shall have charge of
the home and the man of his business; it may rage with violence over the
fundamental as well as the trivial things of home. After all, it is not
the importance of a thing that determines the size of the row it may
raise; men have killed each other over a nickel because defeat over even
this trifle was intolerable.
What are the chief sources of conflict? For to name them all would be
simply to name every possible source of difference of opinion that
exists. Let us take as an example Extravagance.
This is a new development. In the former days the bulk of purchases was
made by the husband, in whose hands the purse strings were tightly
clutched. With the growth of the cities and industry, the development of
the department store and rise of shopping as an institution, the man
gave place to his wife largely because industry would not let him off
during the daytime. So the housewife disbursed most of the funds of her
home,--and there arose one of the fiercest and most persistent of
domestic conflicts.
Despite the fact that most American husbands turn over their purses to
their wives, they still regard the money as their own. The desire to
"get ahead" is an insistent one, returning with redoubled force after
each expenditure. He finds his entire income gone each week or month, or
finds less left than he expected. "Where does it all go?" is his cry;
"Must we spend as much as we do?" "How do people get along who get less
than we do?"
To this his wife has the answer, "We must have _this_, and we _must_
have that. We must live as our neighbors do."
Here is the keynote to the situation. There has been a democratization
of society of this nature; there has been a spread throughout the
community of aristocratic tastes. The woman of even the poor and the
middle classes must have her spring and autumn suits, her dresses for
summer, her summer and winter hats. Her husband too must change his
clothes with each shift of the season. For this the enterprise of the
clothing trade, the splendid display of the department stores are
responsible, awakening desire and dissatisfaction.
While the man accuses the woman of extravagance, he is as guilty as she.
He too spends money freely,--on his cigars and cigarettes, on every
edition of the newspapers, on the shine which he might easily apply
himself, on a thousand and one nickels that become a muckle. The
American is lavish, hates to stint, detests being a "piker", says, "Oh,
what's the difference; it will all be the same in a hundred years," but
kicks himself mentally afterwards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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