Butler, Samuel, 1835-1902 -- Notebooks, sketchbooks, etc.
Henry Hoare [a college friend], when a young man of about
five-and-twenty, one day tore the quick of his fingernail—I mean he
separated the fleshy part of the finger from the nail—and this reminded
him that many years previously, while quite a child, he had done the same
thing. Thereon he fell to thinking of that time which was impressed upon
his memory partly because there was a great disturbance in the house
about a missing five-pound note and partly because it was while he had
the scarlet fever.
Following the train of thought aroused by his torn finger, he asked
himself how he had torn it, and after a while it came back to him that he
had been lying ill in bed as a child of seven at the house of an aunt who
lived in Hertfordshire. His arms often hung out of the bed and, as his
hands wandered over the wooden frame, he felt that there was a place
where nut had come out so that he could put his fingers in. One day, in
trying to stuff a piece of paper into this hole, he stuffed it in so far
and so tightly that he tore the quick of nail. The whole thing came back
vividly and, though he had not thought of it for nearly twenty years, he
could see the room in his aunt’s house and remembered how his aunt use to
sit by his bedside writing at a little table from which he had got the
piece of paper which he had stuffed into the hole.
So far so good. But then there flashed upon him an idea that was not so
pleasant. I mean it came upon him with irresistible force that the piece
of paper, he had stuffed into the hole in the bedstead was the missing
five-pound note about which there had been so much disturbance. At that
time he was so young that a five-pound note was to him only a piece of
paper; when he heard that the money was missing, he had thought it was
five sovereigns; or perhaps he was too ill to think anything, or to be
questioned; I forget what I was told about this—at any rate he had no
idea of the value of the piece of paper he was stuffing into the hole.
But now the matter had recurred to him at all he felt so sure that it was
the note that he immediately went down to Hertfordshire, where his aunt
was still living, and asked, to the surprise of every one, to be allowed
to wash his hands in the room he had occupied as a child. He was told
that there were friends staying in the house who had the room at present,
but, on his saying he had a reason and particularly begging to be allowed
to remain alone a little while in this room, he was taken upstairs and
left there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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