The mistake was to order an artichoke. He did not know how to eat an
artichoke. He had never tried to eat an artichoke, and his first essay
in this difficult and complex craft was a sad fiasco. It would not have
mattered if, at the table next to his own, there had not been two
obviously experienced women, one ill dressed, with a red hat, the other
well dressed, with a blue hat; one middle-aged, the other much younger;
but both very observant. And even so, it would scarcely have mattered,
had not the younger woman been so slim, pretty, and alluring. While
tolerably careless of the opinion of the red-hatted plain woman of
middle age, he desired the unqualified approval of the delightful young
thing in the blue hat. They certainly interested themselves in his
manoeuvres with the artichoke, and their amusement was imperfectly
concealed. He forgave the blue hat, but considered that the red hat
ought to have known better. They could not be princesses, nor even
titled aristocrats. He supposed them to belong to some baccarat-playing
county family.
The piece of luck consisted in the passage down the restaurant of the
Countess of Chell, who had been lunching there with a party, and whom he
had known locally in more gusty days. The countess bowed stiffly to the
red hat, and the red hat responded with eager fulsomeness. It seemed to
be here as it no longer was in the Five Towns: everybody knew everybody!
The red hat and the blue might be titled, after all, he thought. Then,
by sheer accident, the countess caught sight of him, and stopped dead,
bringing her escort to a standstill behind her. Edward Henry blushed
and rose.
"Is it _you_, Mr. Machin?" murmured the still lovely creature warmly.
They shook hands. Never had social pleasure so thrilled him. The
conversation was short. He did not presume on the past. He knew that
here he was not on his own ash-pit, as they say in the Five Towns. The
countess and her escort went forward. Edward Henry sat down again.
He gave the red and the blue hats one calm glance, which they failed to
withstand. The affair of the artichoke was forever wiped out.
After lunch he went forth again in his electric brougham. The weather
had cleared. The opulent streets were full of pride and sunshine. And
as he penetrated into one shop after another, receiving kowtows,
obeisances, curtsies, homage, surrender, resignation, submission, he
gradually comprehended that it takes all sorts to make a world, and that
those who are called to greatness must accept with dignity the
ceremonials inseparable from greatness. And the world had never seemed
to him so fine, nor any adventure so diverting and uplifting as this
adventure.
When he returned to his suite, his private corridor was piled up with a
numerous and excessively attractive assortment of parcels. Joseph took
his overcoat and hat and a new umbrella, and placed an easy chair
conveniently for him in the drawing-room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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