The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of AdventureBowen, William
General
The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of Adventure
Bowen, William
Fantasy literature
"Never you mind," said Lemuel, "you'll find out soon enough. Breakfast's
ready. Anybody want breakfast?"
Before anyone had a chance to reply, the parrot opened his mouth wide
and gave a loud laugh, and cried out:
"Th-th-three ch-cheers! Th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-steak, b-b-bacon
and eggs! I'll have l-l-l-liver and onions! Ha! ha! ha! Th-th-three
ch-cheers for l-l-l-liver and onions!"
"Be quiet, Marmaduke," said the Able Seaman. "I'll lock you up again, if
you ain't careful."
"K-k-k-ker-_choo_!" said Marmaduke, giving a loud sneeze; and rubbed his
beak with his foot and fluttered his feathers. "L-l-l-lock me up in the
a-a-after hold, till I g-g-g-get all over this d-d-d-dreadful cold!
Th-th-three ch-cheers for hay f-f-f-fever! K-k-k-ker-_choo_!"
"I'll lock you up in the after hold, if you don't quit being so fresh
and bold; I'll learn you manners before I'm through, and if ever I hear
one little--"
"Ker-_choo_!" said Marmaduke, finishing Mr. Mizzen's sentence for him
very neatly.
Everyone laughed, except the Able Seaman.
"All right," said he, "just wait till I've had my chow, I'll attend to
you proper; now off with you--now!" And he tossed Master Marmaduke off
his wrist up into the air. The parrot lit on a spar overhead, just under
a sail, and peered down at the company without the least appearance of
embarrassment.
"If there's b-b-b-bacon and eggs," he cried, "I'll take l-l-l-liver!
Th-th-three ch-ch-cheers for l-l-l-liver!"
[Illustration: "L-l-lem!" shrieked the parrot. "Who's your
f-f-f-friends?"]
Freddie burst into a merry laugh, and all his friends joined; all except
Mr. Punch, who looked puzzled.
"'Ow could 'e 'ave liver," said he, "hif there was only bycon an'
heggs?"
At this everyone laughed louder than before, and Mr. Punch was
completely perplexed.
"I'll explain that to you some day," said Toby. "Didn't you never hear a
joke?"
"Ho, yes," said Mr. Punch. "Hi 'eard a wery good joke once; a wery good
one indeed. Hi'll relate it to you. When I was a lad--"
"There's the breakfast bell," said Mr. Mizzen. "Sorry to interrupt, but
we mustn't let it get cold. We'll hold the election afterwards."
No one waited to hear Mr. Punch's joke. The Able Seaman led the way, and
all the others followed him down the deck, towards a kind of three-sided
box which opened on a stairway below.
In a moment or two they found themselves in the dining-saloon, and in
another moment they were seated about a round table, set for breakfast.
The passengers insisted on the Able Seaman's sitting down with them, and
he consented to do so.
A lad of about eighteen entered, to wait on the table. He had a shock of
bright red hair, and a kind of frightened look in his eyes, as if he
were afraid he would do everything wrong, and would always be in hot
water about it. He stood behind the Able Seaman's chair, and began to
make a queer contortion of the face, in an effort to speak.
"Th-th-th-there's--" he began.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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