God, Tournebroche, in that, not having given you talents of any kind,
He does not expose you to become one day the scourge of nations. One
recognises the favourites of God by their lack of wit, and I have
experienced that the fairly quick intelligence heaven has given me has
been but an unceasing cause of danger to my peace in this world and in
the next. What would it be if the heart and thought of a Cæsar dwelt in
my head and my breast? My desires would recognise no sex and I should
be untouched by pity. I should light the fire of inextinguishable war
at home and abroad. And yet the great Cæsar had a delicate soul and a
certain gentleness. He died decently under the dagger of his virtuous
assassins. Day of the Ides of March! Ever fatal day, when sententious
brutes destroyed this charming monster! I am fain to weep over the
divine Julius along with Venus, his mother, and if I call him a monster
it is from affection, for in his equable soul nothing was excessive
save power. He had a natural feeling for rhythm and proportion. He
found equal pleasure in his youth in the beauties of debauchery or
those of grammar. He was an orator, and his beauty doubtless ornamented
the purposed dryness of his speeches. He loved Cleopatra with that
geometric exactitude that he brought to all his doings. He put in his
writings and in his actions his talent for clarity. He was the friend
of order and peace, even in war, sensitive to harmony, and so able
a maker of laws that we still live, barbarians as we are, under the
majesty of his rule, which has made the world what it is to-day. You
see, my son, I am not sparing in praise or love for him. Commander,
dictator, sovereign-pontiff he moulded the world with his beautiful
hands. And I—I, have been professor of eloquence at the college of
Beauvais, secretary to an opera-singer, librarian to my Lord Bishop of
Séez, public-writer at the cemetery of the Holy Innocents, and tutor
to the son of your father at the sign of the _Reine Pédauque_. I have
made a beautiful catalogue of precious manuscripts, I have written some
pamphlets, of which it is best not to speak, and set down on wastepaper
certain maxims scornfully declined by the booksellers. Nevertheless,
I would not change my existence for that of the great Cæsar. It would
cost my innocence too much. And I would rather be an obscure man,
poor and despised, as indeed I am, than rise to the height whence new
destinies are opened to the world through paths of blood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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