"You know what it is, Lotta--the smallpox. And she lies dead in my bed,
and the bed and the whole place will have to be disinfected; we shall
not be able to stay here. We should have to move over into the house.
And perhaps I may have caught it myself already, and die--if I did, all
would be well. But I might get better, and then I should be back in all
the old misery again."
"But it will be better now, after all you have gone through," said Lotta
eagerly. "Your husband knows he has wronged you now. He will be more
careful."
Sigrun rose, and moved the lamp into the other room.
"We must not disturb her," she said.
"You have so many happy years before you," said Lotta. "When you are
both a little older, it will be calm and quiet for you again. And he is
such a splendid man, clever and understanding."
Sigrun stood full in the light from the lamp, and Lotta was astonished
at the change in her. In a moment she seemed to have regained all her
former beauty, more. There was a splendour of majesty and power about
her now. Lotta could not help feeling that Sigrun was something higher
than others; that she must be loved and protected more than all others.
"Lotta," said Sigrun, "you see now that it was for this you were sent
here from Stenbroträsk--to help me with this?"
This was speaking in a language Lotta understood. But she would not be
won over so easily.
"Dear angel, it might be I was sent to hinder you," she said.
Sigrun made Lotta sit down in one of the wicker chairs, and then,
kneeling at her feet, took her hands and said in a voice of earnest
conviction:
"I promised Edward once that nothing but death should make me leave him.
And that is why I have not gone away before. And all this week I have
prayed to God that I might die rather than be forced to break my
promise. Now, though I am in fear of him, and cannot stay, it has held
me back. Lotta, you understand?"
Lotta nodded reluctantly.
"And now, Lotta, God has heard my prayers. He has sent Death to me. And
so I can go without breaking my word. Lotta, surely should understand
that this is God's will?"
"No more of this, Sigrun," said Lotta, trying to rise. But her mistress
held her back.
"It is God Himself helping me, Lotta," she said. "Now I can go away
without making Edward unhappy. Oh, I don't mean he would not mourn for
me a year or two, perhaps, but it would be without bitterness. But if I
ran away from him--do you think he would ever allow it? He would go out
to search for me everywhere, and when he found me, he might kill me. Or
if I got a divorce? It would be the death of him. But to go this
way--out of life altogether...."
"It would only be a quiet sorrow. He could not be jealous of Death.
Don't you see, Lotta, how much better it would be for him than anything
else?"
"For him, perhaps," said Lotta. "But for you?"
"For me," said the young wife, with a smile that was like a light from
heaven--"for me, all is good that is best for him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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