Aristocracy (Social class) -- Fiction; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
This morning, when she had made herself smell of geraniums, and fastened
all the small contrivances that hold even the best of women together,
she went downstairs to her little dining-room, set the spirit lamp
going, and taking up her newspaper, stood waiting to make tea.
It was the hour of the day most dear to her. If the dew had been brushed
off her life, it was still out there every morning on the face of
Nature, and on the faces of her flowers; there was before her all the
pleasure of seeing how each of those little creatures in the garden had
slept; how many children had been born since the Dawn; who was ailing,
and needed attention. There was also the feeling, which renews itself
every morning in people who live lonely lives, that they are not lonely,
until, the day wearing on, assures them of the fact. Not that she was
idle, for she had obtained through Courtier the work of reviewing music
in a woman's paper, for which she was intuitively fitted. This,
her flowers, her own music, and the affairs of certain families of
cottagers, filled nearly all her time. And she asked no better fate than
to have every minute occupied, having that passion for work requiring no
initiation, which is natural to the owners of lazy minds.
Suddenly she dropped her newspaper, went to the bowl of flowers on the
breakfast-table, and plucked forth two stalks of lavender; holding them
away from her, she went out into the garden, and flung them over the
wall.
This strange immolation of those two poor sprigs, born so early,
gathered and placed before her with such kind intention by her maid,
seemed of all acts the least to be expected of one who hated to hurt
people's feelings, and whose eyes always shone at the sight of flowers.
But in truth the smell of lavender—that scent carried on her husband's
handkerchief and clothes—still affected her so strongly that she could
not bear to be in a room with it. As nothing else did, it brought before
her one, to live with whom had slowly become torture. And freed by that
scent, the whole flood of memory broke in on her. The memory of three
years when her teeth had been set doggedly, on her discovery that she
was chained to unhappiness for life; the memory of the abrupt end, and
of her creeping away to let her scorched nerves recover. Of how during
the first year of this release which was not freedom, she had twice
changed her abode, to get away from her own story—not because she was
ashamed of it, but because it reminded her of wretchedness. Of how she
had then come to Monkland, where the quiet life had slowly given her
elasticity again. And then of her meeting with Miltoun; the unexpected
delight of that companionship; the frank enjoyment of the first
four months. And she remembered all her secret rejoicing, her silent
identification of another life with her own, before she acknowledged or
even suspected love. And just three weeks ago now, helping to tie up her
roses, he had touched her, and she had known.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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