The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
Then the most difficult thing of all, a thing to accomplish which
superhuman courage is required, is to exercise the most complete control
over the ass of which Sterne speaks. This ass ought to be as submissive
as a serf of the thirteenth century was to his lord; to obey and be
silent, advance and stop, at the slightest word.
Even when equipped with these advantages, a husband enters the lists
with scarcely any hope of success. Like all the rest, he still runs the
risk of becoming, for his wife, a sort of responsible editor.
“And why!” will exclaim certain good but small-minded people, whose
horizon is limited to the tip of their nose, “why is it necessary to
take so much pains in order to love, and why is it necessary to go
to school beforehand, in order to be happy in your own home? Does the
government intend to institute a professional chair of love, just as it
has instituted a chair of law?”
This is our answer:
These multiplied rules, so difficult to deduce, these minute
observations, these ideas which vary so as to suit different
temperaments, are innate, so to speak, in the heart of those who are
born for love; just as his feeling of taste and his indescribable
felicity in combining ideas are natural to the soul of the poet, the
painter or the musician. The men who would experience any fatigue in
putting into practice the instructions given in this Meditation are
naturally predestined, just as he who cannot perceive the connection
which exists between two different ideas is an imbecile. As a matter of
fact, love has its great men although they be unrecognized, as war has
its Napoleons, poetry its Andre Cheniers and philosophy its Descartes.
This last observation contains the germ of a true answer to the question
which men from time immemorial have been asking: Why are happy marriages
so very rare?
This phenomenon of the moral world is rarely met with for the reason
that people of genius are rarely met with. A passion which lasts is a
sublime drama acted by two performers of equal talent, a drama in which
sentiments form the catastrophe, where desires are incidents and the
lightest thought brings a change of scene. Now how is it possible, in
this herd of bimana which we call a nation, to meet, on any but rare
occasions, a man and a woman who possess in the same degree the genius
of love, when men of talent are so thinly sown and so rare in all other
sciences, in the pursuit of which the artist needs only to understand
himself, in order to attain success?
Up to the present moment, we have been confronted with making a forecast
of the difficulties, to some degree physical, which two married people
have to overcome, in order to be happy; but what a task would be ours
if it were necessary to unfold the startling array of moral obligations
which spring from their differences in character? Let us cry halt! The
man who is skillful enough to guide the temperament will certainly show
himself master of the soul of another.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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