The Physiology of Marriage, Part 3Balzac, Honoré de
Philosophy
The Physiology of Marriage, Part 3
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
This "Monsieur" was one of the finest things I have ever heard. It was
as if the young celibate had said: "This father of a family belongs to
me; as I have carried off his honor, it is mine to defend him. I know
my duty, I am his substitute and will fight for him." The young woman
behaved superbly! Pale, and bewildered, she took the arm of her
husband, who continued his objurgations; without a word she led him
away to the carriage, together with her children. She was one of those
women of the aristocracy, who also know how to retain their dignity
and self-control in the midst of violent emotions.
"O Monsieur Adolphe!" cried the young lady as she saw her friend with
an air of gayety take his seat in the carriage.
"It is nothing, madame, he is one of my friends; we have shaken
hands."
Nevertheless, the next morning, the courageous celibate received a
sword thrust which nearly proved fatal, and confined him six months to
his bed. The attentions of the married couple were lavished upon him.
What numerous compensations do we see here! Some years afterwards, an
old uncle of the husband, whose opinions did not fit in with those of
the young friend of the house, and who nursed a grudge against him on
account of some political discussion, undertook to have him driven
from the house. The old fellow went so far as to tell his nephew to
choose between being his heir and sending away the presumptuous
celibate. It was then that the worthy stockbroker said to his uncle:
"Ah, you must never think, uncle, that you will succeed in making me
ungrateful! But if I tell him to do so this young man will let himself
be killed for you. He has saved my credit, he would go through fire
and water for me, he has relieved me of my wife, he has brought me
clients, he has procured for me almost all the business in the Villele
loans--I owe my life to him, he is the father of my children; I can
never forget all this."
In this case the compensations may be looked upon as complete; but
unfortunately there are compensations of all kinds. There are those
which must be considered negative, deluding, and those which are both
in one.
I knew a husband of advanced years who was possessed by the demon of
gambling. Almost every evening his wife's lover came and played with
him. The celibate gave him a liberal share of the pleasures which come
from games of hazard, and knew how to lose to him a certain number of
francs every month; but madame used to give them to him, and the
compensation was a deluding one.
You are a peer of France, and you have no offspring but daughters.
Your wife is brought to bed of a boy! The compensation is negative.
The child who is to save your name from oblivion is like his mother.
The duchess persuades you that the child is yours. The negative
compensation becomes deluding.
Here is one of the most charming compensations known. One morning the
Prince de Ligne meets his wife's lover and rushes up to him, laughing
wildly:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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