The evening passed unremarkably. Mr. Dugdale and his daughter came to
dinner; Colin could not appear, and the conversation was general. Giles
made futile efforts to hold aloof from Phyllys, and only succeeded in
seeing nobody else.
Through the night following he had no sleep. Two wakeful hours he spent
in bed; then he got up and dressed, and let himself out of the house to
walk fast and far in moonlight, fighting a tough battle.
He had to come to a decision. The earlier intention held now no force;
and its failure only served to show more truly how things stood.
On arrival he had made his way into the studio, as was his wont,
expecting to find Colin absorbed in his beloved occupation, caring for
naught else, wrapped up in the effort to reproduce in clay some form
of beauty. He had been told that Mrs. Keith was out; he had taken for
granted that Phyllys was with her. And when he stood within the studio
door it was to see—not Colin only, but Phyllys also; the two seated
together; Phyllys with downcast eyes and soft flush, and a look upon
the sweet face which "he" had never been able to evoke; while Colin's
gaze, and the light in those blue eyes, told the worst!
At the instant Giles' one sensation had been of furious wrath against
Colin for daring to interfere with "his" love—wrath that he would have
felt towards any man. Already in his secret soul he looked upon Phyllys
as his own.
But, in the silence of his room before luncheon, far more in the
dimness of the moonlit lanes at night, other counsels succeeded. Other
elements would not be defined. It was no simple matter of two men,
both in love with one girl, waiting to see which she might prefer. The
question really was—if Colin had set his heart on Phyllys, ought Giles
to seek her at all? Ought he not at once to give up the thought?
As an abstract question this carried no difficulty. To his mind the
duty was plain. If Colin loved Phyllys, the right step for him was to
leave the coast clear.
Years earlier, under peculiar circumstances, he had made a definite
resolve never to stand in the way of Colin's happiness; never to allow
himself any good which might react in the form of pain for Colin. He
had registered this vow in the recesses of his heart. It rose up and
faced him, while he hurried through lonely lanes, unable to see his
way. Cold moonlight, flooding fields on either side, seemed alive
with one word, "Remember!" Black tree-shadows, lying in patches at
his feet, echoed "Remember!" The creak of an elm-bough, swayed by the
breeze, groaned "Remember!" The cry of an owl sounded the same solemn
"Remember!"
He did remember. He would never forget the heartbreaking misery, the
awful load of woe, which had culminated in that resolve. If life should
last a hundred years, each incident of those days would remain vivid to
the last.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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