The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comediesRoberts, Morley
General
The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comedies
Roberts, Morley
English fiction -- 20th century; Sea stories, English; Short stories, English
"Gammon!" said Captain Prowse rudely; "why, any sailor knows better.
I'm surprised at a scientific josser like you bein' so ignorant.
It's one-third above and two below. You ask my mate if it isn't so."
"Ah, thanks, I will," said the geologist pleasantly. "Mr. Watts is a
well-informed man?"
"Rather," said Prowse, nodding; "there's not a den o' thieves in any
port in Europe he can't find blindfold. And 'e knows more about
icebergs than me, for he once went a trip in a Dundee whaler. He
ain't proud of it, and don't talk of it much, for whalers is no
class, as you may guess. But he's keen on knowledge, is Watts, I'll
say that for him. You might do worse than ask him for some ackerate
information. He's a perfect whale on fogs, too!"
If Mr. Watts was the authority on fogs that his captain made out, he
soon had an opportunity of showing it, for half-way across the Banks
it was impossible to see farther than one could throw half a
hundredweight, and the _Nemagosenda_ went tooting in darkness. But
every now and again in this dim world the men of science were alarmed
and entertained by sudden battles in blasphemy between Captain
Prowse, or the well-informed Mr. Watts, and the crew of a Bank
fisherman. For fog blankets sound in the oddest, most erratic way,
and the throb of a screw cannot always be heard even in the calmest
foggy weather. Such swearing matches between the _Nemagosenda_ and a
smack were, when apparently good for three minutes or so, sometimes
sliced right in two by the sudden dropping down of what the
meteorologist called an "anacoustic" wall of fog. Like the last
words of Don Whiskerandos in _A Tragedy Rehearsed_, a speech was cut
off in the very flower of its youth.
"Where the blue blinding blazes are you coming to?" asked a faint
nocturne. And when Captain Prowse had expended his last carefully
prepared oration, the right of maritime reply only conferred an
audible "Oh, you dog----"
"We have to thank the anacoustic properties of that fog-bank for the
sudden conclusion," said the meteorologist, "for if I'm any judge of
human nature, that smacksman is still firing red-hot words into
space."
"Yes, sir," said Prowse indignantly, "they're a foul-mouthed lot.
It's as much as I can do to keep even with 'em. But I'll slow down
no more."
He telegraphed "Full speed ahead" and left Mr. Watts with awfully
worded instructions to sink anything, from a battleship to the
meanest brig afloat. In the saloon he sat at the head of the table,
and drank rum hot.
"Science proves that rum 'ot is the sailor's drink," said Captain
Prowse, "and the correct drink. For we all drink it, and flourish on
it. And the reason is that it goes by contraries. It's cold work
bein' at sea, and so we takes it 'ot; and the sea is salt, so we
takes it sweet: and it comes from the West Indies."
"And that proves it," said the geologist warmly. "What a head you
have, Captain Prowse!"
The skipper nodded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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