The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comediesRoberts, Morley
General
The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comedies
Roberts, Morley
English fiction -- 20th century; Sea stories, English; Short stories, English
"You may well say so," he affirmed; "a phrenologist gave me a chart
of my 'ead once, a scientific chart with the soundings wrote out
plain, and what proved him right was his sayin' that 'ere and there I
was too deep for him. And I paid him a guinea. Well worth it, it
was, for he said, 'You get married,' and I done so, and Mrs. Prowse
hasn't her living equal. I wish I'd brought that chart with me. It
would 'ave interested you gents to know what a brother scientist
thought of me."
"It would indeed," said the pathologist.
"But there, I'll tell you what I am," said Prowse, "I'm a
down-righter, that's me. I'm captain of my boat, I am, and if I was
afloat on a hencoop with all its crew I'd like to see the cock as
would crow before I gave him orders. Authority comes nat'ral to me.
I'll be boss wherever I am--(Hancocks, more rum!)--and I would have
succeeded in whatsoever I took hold of. Phrenology told me so, wrote
out plain. And I've a kind of leanin' towards science ever since
that phrenologist put 'is 'and on my 'ead and said with a start of
surprise, 'Captain, you're a wonder.' But I've always wondered what
it was made scientific chaps look so 'elpless.--(Hancocks, more
rum.)--But don't you fret, gents; I'm Captain Joseph Prowse, and I'll
put you safe ashore, or die in the attempt."
And as he again ejaculated "Hancocks, more rum," he fell asleep upon
the table.
"Gentlemen," said the geologist, "as our interests are now secure, I
vote we go to bed."
But it was still a heavy fog, and the _Nemagosenda_ was doing her ten
knots an hour. Other steamers were doing the same, or even more.
Some twenty-knot liners slowed down (in order that they might say
that they had slowed down) to about nineteen knots and a half; and
some, acting on the theory that the sooner they went through the
fog-belt, the better for every one, gave their engines all the steam
they could make, and stepped out for America or England at the pace
of an indolent torpedo-boat. And the result of this was that at
about four bells in the middle watch, when the mate's aching eyes
could see forty imaginary steamers where there were none, he omitted
to observe that there was a real one coming for him till it was too
late. The _Nemagosenda_ uttered one long horrid wail, which was
answered in vain, and the next minute the men of science were shot
out of their bunks, and their steamer was taking in the Atlantic
through a hole about the size of a dock gate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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