The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comediesRoberts, Morley
General
The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comedies
Roberts, Morley
English fiction -- 20th century; Sea stories, English; Short stories, English
Captain Prowse gasped, and then recovered himself.
"Didn't I tell you I was captain here, same as on the steamer?"
"You did," said the sulky man of science.
"Then hold your jaw," said Captain Prowse; "when you, or the likes of
you, is asked for criticism, it'll be time for you to give it. Till
then you'll give your captain no lectures on the running of his
vessel. God and the Queen's enemies 'as sunk my ship, but neither
one nor the other has took away my natural gift of authority, so shut
up!"
And though the meteorologist choked with rage, he said no more.
Simpkins and the captain consulted.
"We're right in the track of steamers more or less," said Captain
Prowse, "and it bein' so damp we can hang out without much drink for
a day or so. And biscuit we 'ave plenty."
Simpkins nodded.
"Yes, sir, but this 'ere's a sulky useless lot, sir."
"So they are," said Prowse, "but they'll 'ave to shape themselves as
I bid 'em. The first crooked word and there'll be a man of science
missing out of this bright gal-acksy of talent. I don't care where I
am, but there I'll be captain. I don't care if they was my owners,
I'd run 'em all the same. They ain't passengers no more, they're my
crew."
He took a drink out of a flask and sank back in the stern-sheets.
"I want you men to keep your eyes skinned," he said presently.
"Which of you is the astronomer?"
"I am," answered the bow oar, who was a long, thin man, in a
wideawake and spectacles.
"Then keep a bright look-out or you'll see stars," said Prowse. "And
while I'm on it, I want you jossers to know that you ain't passengers
no more, but a boat's crew, and my boat's crew, and you'll have to
look lively when I sing out. So the sooner we get a bit farther
south the better it will be. That will do."
And muttering that he meant being captain whether he was on an
ice-floe or a mud-barge, he fell asleep and snored.
"This brute is coming out in his true colours," said the astronomer.
"What did he mean by saying I should see stars?"
"Begging your pardon, sir," said Simpkins, "he meant he'd plug you."
"Plug me?"
"Bung your eye up," explained Simpkins, "and Lor' bless you, he'd do
it. Oh, a rare chap is the captain; why, some years half his money
goes in fines."
"I wish to heaven I was ashore," said the poor astronomer, "and when
I get there I'll see he never gets another job."
Simpkins eyed the sleeping skipper in alarm.
"Best not let him 'ear you, matey," he cried. "He'd haze you to
death."
"Haze me?"
"Work you up," explained the seaman.
"What's that?"
"And I thot you was all learn'd!" said Simpkins, with great contempt.
"I mean he'd just sock it to you till you was fair broke up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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