The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 09: Contributions to The Tatler, The Examiner, The Spectator, and The IntelligencerSwift, Jonathan
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The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. — Volume 09: Contributions to The Tatler, The Examiner, The Spectator, and The Intelligencer
Swift, Jonathan
English essays -- 18th century; English prose literature -- 18th century
"The keeper immediately set all in order again for another customer,
which happened to be a famous prude, whom her parents after long
threatenings, and much persuasion, had with the extremest difficulty
prevailed on to accept a young handsome goldsmith, that might have
pretended to five times her fortune. The fathers and mothers in the
neighbourhood used to quote her for an example to their daughters. Her
elbows were rivetted to her sides, and her whole person so ordered as to
inform everybody that she was afraid they should touch her. She only
dreaded to approach the lion, because it was a he one, and abhorred to
think an animal of that sex should presume to breathe on her. The sight
of a man at twenty yards distance made her draw back her head. She always
sat upon the farther corner of the chair, though there were six chairs
between her and her lover, and with the door wide open, and her little
sister in the room. She was never saluted but at the tip of her ear, and
her father had much ado to make her dine without her gloves, when there
was a man at table. She entered the den with some fear, which we took to
proceed from the height of her modesty, offended at the sight of so many
men in the gallery. The lion beholding her at a distance, immediately
gave the deadly sign; at which the poor creature (methinks I see her
still) miscarried in a fright before us all. The lion seemed to be
surprised as much as we, and gave her time to make her confession, 'That
she was four months gone, by the foreman of her father's shop, that this
was her third big belly;' and when her friends asked, why she would
venture the trial? she said, 'Her nurse assured her, that a lion would
never hurt a woman with child.'" Upon this I immediately waked, and could
not help wishing, that the deputy-censors of my late institution were
endued with the same instinct as these parish-lions were.
[Footnote 1:
"Manditque, trahitque
Molle pecus."
_Aeneid_, ix. 340-341.
"Devours and tears the peaceful flock."
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: _I.e._ 1710-11. [T.S.]]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 298.[1]
_Ingenuas didicisse fideliter artes,
Emollit mores._ OVID.[2]
FROM SATURDAY MARCH 3. TO TUESDAY MARCH 6. 1710.[3]
_From my own Apartment in Channel-Row, March 5_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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