The Prussian OfficerLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
The Prussian Officer
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Fiction; Short stories
“You’ll always do what’s right, Alfred?” the mother asked, beside
herself in terror now he was leaving her. He was too terrified and
bewildered to know what she meant.
“Yes,” he said.
She turned her cheek to him. He kissed her, then went away, in bitter
despair. He went to work.
XII
By midday his mother was dead. The word met him at the pit-mouth. As he
had known, inwardly, it was not a shock to him, and yet he trembled. He
went home quite calmly, feeling only heavy in his breathing.
Miss Louisa was still at the house. She had seen to everything
possible. Very succinctly, she informed him of what he needed to know.
But there was one point of anxiety for her.
“You _did_ half expect it—it’s not come as a blow to you?” she asked,
looking up at him. Her eyes were dark and calm and searching. She too
felt lost. He was so dark and inchoate.
“I suppose—yes,” he said stupidly. He looked aside, unable to endure
her eyes on him.
“I could not bear to think you might not have guessed,” she said.
He did not answer.
He felt it a great strain to have her near him at this time. He wanted
to be alone. As soon as the relatives began to arrive, Louisa departed
and came no more. While everything was arranging, and a crowd was in
the house, whilst he had business to settle, he went well enough, with
only those uncontrollable paroxysms of grief. For the rest, he was
superficial. By himself, he endured the fierce, almost insane bursts of
grief which passed again and left him calm, almost clear, just
wondering. He had not known before that everything could break down,
that he himself could break down, and all be a great chaos, very vast
and wonderful. It seemed as if life in him had burst its bounds, and he
was lost in a great, bewildering flood, immense and unpeopled. He
himself was broken and spilled out amid it all. He could only breathe
panting in silence. Then the anguish came on again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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