The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq. — John Shaqi
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"That's unfortunate," said Mrs. Noah, "because I don't know anything about
these new fangled notions. If there's any one here who knows anything
about naphtha engines, I wish they'd speak."
"I'm of the opinion," said Portia, "that I can study out the theory of it
in a short while."
"Very well, then," said Mrs. Noah, "you can do it. I'll appoint you
engineer, and give you all your orders now, right away, in advance. Set
her going and keep her going, and don't stop without a written order
signed by me. We might as well be very careful, and have everything done
properly, and it might happen that in the excitement of our trip you would
misunderstand my spoken orders and make a fatal error. Therefore, pay no
attention to unwritten orders. That will do for you for the present.
Xanthippe, you may take Ophelia and Madame Recamier, and ten other ladies,
and, every morning before breakfast, swab the larboard deck. Cassandra,
Tuesdays you will devote to polishing the brasses in the dining-room, and
the balance of your time I wish you to expend in dusting the bric-a-brac.
Dido, you always were strong at building fires. I'll make you chief
stoker. You will also assist Lucretia Borgia in the kitchen. Inasmuch as
the latter's maid has neglected to supply her with the usual line of
poisons, I think we can safely entrust to Lucretia's hands the
responsibilities of the culinary department."
"I'm perfectly willing to do anything I can," said Lucretia, "but I must
confess that I don't approve of your methods of commanding a ship. A
ship's captain isn't a domestic martinet, as you are setting out to be. We
didn't appoint you housekeeper."
"Now, my child," said Mrs. Noah, firmly, "I do not wish any words. If I
hear any more impudence from you, I'll put you ashore without a reference;
and the rest of you I would warn in all kindness that I will not tolerate
insubordination. You may, all of you, have one night of the week and
alternate Sundays off, but your work must be done. The regimen I am
adopting is precisely that in vogue on the Ark, only I didn't have the
help I have now, and things got into very bad shape. We were out forty
days, and, while the food was poor and the service execrable, we never
lost a life."
[Illustration: "'NOW, MY CHILD,' SAID MRS. NOAH, FIRMLY, 'I DO NOT WISH
ANY WORDS'"]
The boat gave a slight tremor.
"Hurrah," cried Elizabeth, clapping her hands with glee, "we are off!"
"I will repair to the deck and get our bearings," said Mrs. Noah, putting
her shawl over her shoulders. "Meantime, Cleopatra, I appoint you first
mate. See that things are tidied up a bit here before I return. Have the
windows washed, and to-morrow I want all the rugs and carpets taken up and
shaken."
Portia meanwhile had discovered the naphtha engine, and, after
experimenting several times with the various levers and stop-cocks, had
finally managed to move one of them in such a way as to set the engine
going, and the wheel began to revolve.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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