The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
A terrible crash interrupted the old lady's remarks. The House-boat
shivered and shook, careened way to one side, and as quickly righted and
stood still. A mad rush up the gangway followed, and in a moment a hundred
and eighty-three pale-faced, trembling women stood upon the deck, gazing
with horror at a great helpless hulk ten feet to the rear, fastened by
broken ropes and odd pieces of rigging to the stern-posts of the
House-boat, sinking slowly but surely into the sea.
[Illustration: "A GREAT HELPLESS HULK TEN FEET TO THE REAR"]
It was the _Gehenna_!
The House-boat had run her down and her last hour had come, but, thanks to
the stanchness of her build and wonderful beam, the floating club-house
had withstood the shock of the impact and now rode the waters as
gracefully as ever.
Portia was the first to realize the extent of the catastrophe, and in a
short while chairs and life-preservers and tables--everything that could
float--had been tossed into the sea to the struggling immortals therein.
On board the _Gehenna_, those who had not cast themselves into the waters,
under the cool direction of Holmes and Bonaparte, calmly lowered the
boats, and in a short while were not only able to felicitate themselves
upon their safety, but had likewise the good fortune to rescue their more
impetuous brethren who had preferred to swim for it. Ultimately, all were
brought aboard the House-boat in safety, and the men in Hades were once
more reunited to their wives, daughters, sisters, and _fiancees_, and
Elizabeth had the satisfaction of once more saving the life of Raleigh by
throwing him her ruff as she had done a year or so previously, when she
and her brother had been upset in the swift current of the river Styx.
Order and happiness being restored, Holmes took command of the House-boat
and soon navigated her safely back into her old-time berth. The _Gehenna_
went to the bottom and was never seen again, and when the roll was called
it was found that all who had set out upon her had returned in safety save
Shylock, Kidd, Sir Henry Morgan, and Abeuchapeta; but even they were not
lost, for, five weeks later, these four worthies were found early one
morning drifting slowly up the river Styx, gazing anxiously out from the
top of a water-cask and yelling lustily for help.
And here endeth the chronicle of the pursuit of the good old House-boat.
Back to her moorings, the even tenor of her ways was once more resumed,
but with one slight difference.
The ladies became eligible for membership, and, availing themselves of the
privilege, began to think less and less of the advantages of being men and
to rejoice that, after all, they were women; and even Xanthippe and
Socrates, after that night of peril, reconciled their differences, and no
longer quarrel as to which is the more entitled to wear the toga of
authority. It has become for them a divided skirt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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