Americans -- France -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; France -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
If he had had any doubt as to the nature of her feeling for him those
dissolving stars would have allayed it. She was reserved, she was shy
even, was what the shallow and effusive would call “cold”. She was like
a picture so hung that it can be seen only at a certain angle: an angle
known to no one but its possessor. The thought flattered his sense
of possessorship...He felt that the smile on his lips would have been
fatuous had it had a witness. He was thinking of her look when she had
questioned him about his meeting with Owen at the theatre: less of her
words than of her look, and of the effort the question cost her: the
reddening of her cheek, the deepening of the strained line between her
brows, the way her eyes sought shelter and then turned and drew on him.
Pride and passion were in the conflict--magnificent qualities in a wife!
The sight almost made up for his momentary embarrassment at the rousing
of a memory which had no place in his present picture of himself.
Yes! It was worth a good deal to watch that fight between her instinct
and her intelligence, and know one’s self the object of the struggle...
Mingled with these sensations were considerations of another order. He
reflected with satisfaction that she was the kind of woman with whom
one would like to be seen in public. It would be distinctly agreeable
to follow her into drawing-rooms, to walk after her down the aisle of a
theatre, to get in and out of trains with her, to say “my wife” of her
to all sorts of people. He draped these details in the handsome
phrase “She’s a woman to be proud of”, and felt that this fact somehow
justified and ennobled his instinctive boyish satisfaction in loving
her.
He stood up, rambled across the room and leaned out for a while into
the starry night. Then he dropped again into his armchair with a sigh of
deep content.
“Oh, hang it,” he suddenly exclaimed, “it’s the best thing that’s ever
happened to me, anyhow!”
The next day was even better. He felt, and knew she felt, that they had
reached a clearer understanding of each other. It was as if, after a
swim through bright opposing waves, with a dazzle of sun in their eyes,
they had gained an inlet in the shades of a cliff, where they could
float on the still surface and gaze far down into the depths.
Now and then, as they walked and talked, he felt a thrill of youthful
wonder at the coincidence of their views and their experiences, at the
way their minds leapt to the same point in the same instant.
“The old delusion, I suppose,” he smiled to himself. “Will Nature never
tire of the trick?”
But he knew it was more than that. There were moments in their talk when
he felt, distinctly and unmistakably, the solid ground of friendship
underneath the whirling dance of his sensations. “How I should like her
if I didn’t love her!” he summed it up, wondering at the miracle of such
a union.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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