Families -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Older people -- Fiction
“Yes, they are,” cried Mitchell reassuringly. His voice, when he turned
it upon her, was pitched like a clarionet. The blind would surely have
seen as well as the deaf have heard had there been any candidates for
miracles in his immediate vicinity. “They’re first-class,” he added,
“you just go at them and see.”
The reassured took another whiff.
“You can have mine,” she said directly afterwards; and there was an air
of decision about her speech which brooked no opposition. Yet Mitchell
persisted.
“Oh, no,” he yelled; “you must learn how. Just throw your head back and
take ’em quick—after the fashion that they eat raw eggs, don’t you
know?”
“But she can’t,” said Clover. “There’s too much, particularly as she
isn’t used to them. I’ll tell you, Miss Watkins,” he cried, hoisting
his own voice to the masthead, “you eat the oysters, and leave the
cocktail. That’s the way to get gradually trained into the wheel.”
Aunt Mary thought some of obeying; she fished out one oyster, wiped it
carefully with a bit of bread, regarded it with more than dubious
countenance, and then suddenly decided not to.
“I’d rather be at home when I try experiments,” she said, decidedly;
and the waiter carried off her cocktail and gave her food that was good
beyond question thereafter.
The dinner went with zest. It was an enlivening party that consumed it,
and what they consumed with it enlivened them still more. The gentlemen
soon reached the point where they could laugh over jokes they could not
understand, and the one lady member became equally merry over wit that
she did not hear. She forgot for the nonce that there were any phases
of life in which she was not a believer, and whether this was owing to
the surrounding gayety or to the champagne which they persuaded her to
taste it is not my province to explain.
“Now we must lay our lines for events to come,” Jack said, when they
advanced upon the dessert and prepared to occupy an extensive territory
of ices, fruit, and jellied something or other. “It would be a sin for
Aunt Mary to leave this famous battlefield without a few honorable
scars! We must take her out in a bubble for one thing and—”
“In mine!” cried Clover. “To-morrow! Why can’t she?—I held up my hand
first?”
“All right,” said Jack; “to-morrow she’s your’s. At four o’clock.”
“She must have goggles,” cried Mitchell. “She must have goggles and be
all fixed up, and when you have got her the goggles and she has been
all fixed up, I ask, as a last boon, that I may go along, just so as to
see everyone who sees her.”
“We’ll all go,” Clover explained. “I’ll ‘chuff’ her myself and then
there’ll be room for everyone.”
“To the auto and to to-morrow!” cried Burnett, hastily pouring out a
fresh toast, which even Aunt Mary applauded, not at all knowing what
she was applauding.
“And now for the next day,” said Jack. “I think I’ll give her a
box-party. Don’t you want to go to the theater in a box, Aunt Mary?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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