The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
His strong opinion proved itself, as the manner of strong opinions is;
and instead of being able to arise, while he was waiting, with his hands
in his pockets, and a pipe in his mouth, I was more inclined to go into
the ground, whenever it happened to be soft.
And so, even now, (when some fifty people had seen me in the air, and
were ready to make oath to a great deal more than I had done) father
stuck to it, that they all were liars, or fools, or crazy, or else tipsy
at the least. But he scarcely knew what to say at first, when just as he
was going to sit down to dinner, a mighty great noise arose under the
window, of sailors hurraing, and the brass-band roaring, and _Grip_ as
loud as any of them, barking at his utmost.
"D--n it," said my father to my mother; "is this the quiet place John
Windsor spoke of? When a man can't even sit down to his dinner----"
"Dinner indeed! Don't think twice of your dinner;" cried mother from the
window, in great excitement, "here is a thing that you never saw before,
and will never see again, if you live to be a hundred. Our Tommy in a
flag, and all the sailors in the kingdom, taking off their hats, and
cheering him, and the dear little poppet as modest as ever, exactly like
an Angel! And a beautiful lady, you can see by the look that all the
place belongs to her--you can tell at a glance who she is, of
course--Bucephalus, how slow you are!"
"Slow, for not knowing at a glance a female, I never saw or heard of, in
all my life! And in a strange place I was never in before! How should I
know her from Adam--or at least, Eve?"
"Bucephalus! Why, of course she must be Lady Towers-Twentifold, widow of
the late, and sincerely lamented, Sir Robert Towers-Twentifold, who
died, after tortures surpassing description, from swallowing his own
corundum tooth. Every stick, and stone, for ten miles in every direction
belongs to him, and he leaves a lovely widow, and an only son, the
present Sir Roland Towers-Twentifold, scarcely any older than our Tommy,
and an only daughter Laura. Bless me, how true everything is coming! I
can believe every word of it, now I see them."
"Including the man with the corundum tooth. In the name of Moses,
Sophy, how the deuce have you found out all this already?"
"I have found out nothing; and I am surprised at your low way of putting
it, Bucephalus. When I met the chambermaid, could I do less than pass
the time of day to her? But look, they have carried our Tommy three
times, with the 'Conquering Hero comes' twice and a half, round the--I
forget what dear Jane Windsor says is the right foreign name for it--and
I think, Mr. Upmore, the least we can do, is to throw up the window, and
bow our acknowledgments gracefully, as the papers say."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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