With what a curious, new, expectant joy had Alison looked forward to
meeting him for the first time after that happy day of sight-seeing!
But here her ignorance of men, at any rate of this man in particular,
built up a disappointment for her. Herries at Lucky Simpson’s—Herries
entertaining a simple country girl, whom he regarded as a child—was very
different from the Herries of evening parties and the social treadmill.
When next Alison saw him, and he gave her a formal five minutes of his
arm in a crowded drawing-room, he was like a stranger again—cold, stiff,
dressed in reserve as in a garment. It was the nature of the man, and,
in time, Alison learned the difficult lesson that it set her, as one
learns who loves his task. But she certainly got little aid from Nancy.
’’Tis a strange being—Archie,’ his cousin would say, discussing him
after some chance meeting. ’A riddle to me, Ally, who can generally
read a man like a book. Many a time I wonder what is in the heart of the
creature—what are the motives of his actions, the ruling passions of his
life. I’ve known him since he was a boy, and at all the crises of my
life he’s been at my elbow—the adviser, the protector, the benefactor.
But, I tell you, child, I know no more what he really thinks on any
subject under the sun, than the child unborn! And what is more, I know
no one who ever did! And yet I’d not have you think I underrate his
good qualities,’ she went on earnestly. ’I see his solid worth, and I
respect it. But ’tis my most unlucky star has ruled it, that I must be
dependent on a man I fear. I live by love, Ally—by sympathy,
confidence, communion! I can forgive—I hope to be forgiven. But
Herries asks no forgiveness, and he grants none. He—he drives me to
subterfuge, Ally. I swear against my proper nature!’
Alison never doubted that, first in Nancy’s mind, as she spoke, and
first in her own, was the thought of that eternal commerce with St.
James’s Square. It throve apace, like some ill weed with a fair leaf,
but choking roots. And now, as the weeks went on, and the poet wrote of
gradual recovery from his hurt, the letters would give place to
meetings, and even Alison, in her innocence and her confidence in her
friend, knew instinctively that in these meetings there would be danger.
If only Herries might be told of them, even though he disapproved! But
on the subject of the poet he was unapproachable; he bristled with
prejudice, as a porcupine with its quills. Alison’s unerring judgment
forced her to see that he was unreasonable and unjust.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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