such perfect good faith, that its difficulties never presented
themselves in a practical form at all; and she pondered this matter
now in her heart, as if she were really the free unmarried girl
she seemed to the world. If he should come to her and tell her a
love-tale, what should she say to him? She had asked herself the
question many times and had not found the answer, when, raising her
eyes at the sound of steps, she met those of Miles Challoner, and saw
in them what he had come to say.
There was manifest embarrassment on both sides, and each was
distinctly conscious of its cause. Why could they not meet to-day as
they had met so often before? Why were the ordinary commonplaces so
hard to think of and so incoherently said? Gertrude was the first to
recover her composure. She asked Miles if Lord Sandilands had come
with him, and on his saying he had, and was then in the house, she
turned in that direction, and said something about going in to see
him. But Miles checked her steps by standing still.
"Don't go into the house," he said; "he does not expect you. Let us
walk this way; let me speak to you." She glanced at him, and silently
complied. She knew it all now, and she began to feel what it was that
she must say, and what it would cost her to say it. She felt his eyes
upon her, and the delicate colour faded away from her face.
Neither she nor Miles Challoner could have told afterwards, or even
exactly recalled in their thoughts, the words then spoken between
them. He told her how he had loved her from the first--he who had
never loved before--and how fear and hope had alternated in his heart
until now, when hope was the stronger, and he had determined to tell
her how all his happiness, all his life, was in her hands. He spoke
with the frank manliness of his nature, and Gertrude's heart thrilled
as she listened to him with intense pain, with keen delight. At least
he loved her well and worthily; nothing could deprive her of that
exquisite knowledge. She would, she must, put away the wine of life
offered to her parched lips, but she knew its sweetness, had seen the
splendour and the sparkle of it.
A thousand thoughts, innumerable emotions, crowded upon her, as she
listened to the words of Miles; but when he prayed her to speak and
let him know his fate, prayed her with eagerness and passion, but with
hope that was almost confidence, then she put them all down with her
strong will, and addressed herself to her task. She drew the hand
which he had taken away from his hold, and told him in one short
sentence that she could not give him the answer he desired.
"You cannot, Grace? You refuse me!" he said hoarsely. "You tell me,
then, that I have deceived myself?"
"No," she said, "I do not. Let us sit here awhile"--she seated herself
on a bench under a lime-tree as she spoke--"and let me speak frankly
and freely to you, as you deserve."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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