Miles obeyed her with bewilderment. What was she going to say? She
would not marry him, and yet he had not deceived himself! She was
deadly pale, and he might have heard the beating of her heart; but she
was quite firm, and she turned her steady eyes upon him unfalteringly.
"There is only one thing you can say to me," he said, "if you
persevere in forbidding me to hope--that is, to send me out of your
sight for ever."
"Perhaps," was her reply; "but listen. I have said you don't deceive
yourself, and I mean it. I know you love me; I know what perfect
sincerity there is in you--hush! let me speak--and I--I do love
you--you have not mistaken me, I have not misled you."
"Then what does anything else matter?" said Miles, and he caught her
hands and kissed them unresisted, unrebuked. "With that assurance,
Grace, surely you will not refuse me?"
"I must," she answered. "Have patience with me. I will tell you why.
It is for your own sake."
"My own sake!" he exclaimed passionately; "you deprive me of all hope
and happiness for my own sake! I shall need patience indeed to
understand that."
"It is true, nevertheless. I could not many you, Miles Challoner,
without doing you a great injury; and I love you too well, much more
and better than myself, to do that. Take that assurance, and believe
that nothing can shake my determination. My fate is decided, my way of
life is quite fixed. I shall never be your wife, never, never,
never!"--his face was hidden in his hands, he did not see the
suffering which broke all control and showed itself plainly in her
every feature--"but I shall never love you less, or anyone but you."
The low distinct tones of her voice thrilled him with a horrid sense
of hopelessness. She spoke as one who had taken an irrevocable
resolution.
"What do you mean?" he said. "You must tell me more than this. What do
you mean by doing me an injury? I protest I have not the faintest
notion of your meaning. It cannot be--" He hesitated, and she took up
his words.
"Because you are a gentleman of old name and a responsible position in
society, and I am a singer, an actress a woman with no name and no
station, you would say. Yes, it is precisely for this cause, which you
think impossible. I know you don't regard any of these things, but the
world does; and the man I love shall never be censured by the world
for me."
How well it was, she thought, how fortunate, that such a real genuine
difficulty did exist; that she could give some explanation which he
might be induced to receive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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