The Romance of His Life, and Other RomancesCholmondeley, Mary
General
The Romance of His Life, and Other Romances
Cholmondeley, Mary
Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories
Her mother-in-law had reluctantly given her leave to use an attic lumber
room, and, amid a litter of old trunks and derelict furniture and
cardboard boxes, she had made a little clearing near the window, where
she worked feverishly at her painting in her rare leisure.
I had seen the room once when I had helped the nurse to carry down a
screen put away there, and suddenly needed in one of Arthur's many
illnesses. I had been touched by the evident attempt to make some sort
of refuge in that large house, where there were several empty rooms on
the lower floors, but--perhaps--no privacy.
I quickly found that Mrs. Robinson tacitly disapproved of Blanche
working in the attic. Her kind face became almost hard when she spoke of
the hours her daughter-in-law spent there, when her sick husband wanted
her downstairs.
I tapped at the door, but there was no answer, and I went in. Blanche
was sitting near the window on a leather trunk.
I expected to find her distressed, but her eyes, as they were raised to
meet mine, were untroubled. An uncomprehending calm dwelt in them. I
saw that she had already forgotten her husband's anger in her complete
absorption in something else.
For the first time it struck me that her mental condition was not quite
normal. Had she then no memory; or did she continually revert, as soon
as she was left to herself to some world of her own imagination, where
her harassed, bewildered soul was refreshed? I remembered the look I had
often seen in her face, the piteous expression of one anxiously
endeavouring and failing to fix her attention.
She was giving the whole of it now to a picture on a low easel before
her. I drew near and looked at it also.
It was a portrait of the goldfish. It was really exactly like him with
his eye turned up on the look out for crumbs. He was outlined against a
charming assortment of foreign shells, strewn artistically on a zinc
floor. The aquarium was encircled by a pretty little grove of cowslips
and primroses, which gave the picture a cheerful and pleasing aspect.
"It is lovely," I said.
"He is a lucky goldfish, isn't he?" she said apathetically.
I pondered long that night over Blanche. I reproached myself that I had
not perceived earlier that she was overwrought. When I came to think of
it her life was deeply overshadowed by her husband's illness. Was it
possible that she was the more talented of the two, and that it was not
congenial to her to spend so much of her time docilely copying Arthur's
pictures? I had never thought of that before. I knew nothing about art
myself, but I could find out. I was becoming much more occupied by this
time, and one of my patients was the celebrated artist, M., whose slow
death I was trying to make as painless as possible.
A day or two later I laid before him the picture Arthur had torn in two.
I can still see M. sitting in his arm-chair in the ragged dressing gown
which he wore day and night, unshaved, wrinkled, sixty.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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