She was deceitful and mendacious, little Fatou, with an incredible blend
of malice and perversity; Jean had known this for a long time. But he was
aware, too, of her absolute devotion to him, the devotion of a dog to
its master, of a negro to his fetish, and without positively knowing to
what height of heroism this sentiment might raise her, he was touched and
softened by it.
Sometimes his intense pride was roused, and his white man’s dignity
rose in revolt. The faith he had plighted to his betrothed, and had
betrayed for the sake of a little black girl, accused him to his honest
conscience. He was ashamed of his weakness.
But Fatou-gaye had grown very handsome. When she walked with her lithe,
well-moulded figure swaying from the hips with that grace of movement
which the African women seem to have borrowed from the great felidæ of
their country; when she passed by, with her drapery of white muslin
floating like a peplum over her bosom and rounded shoulders, she had the
perfection of an antique statue. When she lay asleep with her arms above
her head, she displayed the curves of an amphora.
Under that high headdress of amber her delicate face, with its
regular features, had at times something of the beauty of an idol of
polished ebony; her great, half-closed, lustrous, blue-black eyes,
her dusky smile, slowly revealing her white teeth, all this had a
negroid fascination, a sensual charm, a power of material seduction,
an indefinable something which seemed to savour simultaneously of the
monkey, the young virgin, and the tigress—and all this would race through
the spahi’s veins with a strange intoxication.
Jean had a kind of superstitious horror of all these amulets; at length
there were moments when this profusion of _grigris_ vexed and oppressed
him. He had no faith in them, to be sure, but to see them everywhere,
these negro amulets, to know that nearly all of them possessed the
supposed virtue of holding and enmeshing him; to see them hanging from
his ceiling and on his walls; to find them hidden under his mats and
under his tara—charms everywhere, little objects, old and witchlike, with
a malevolent air about them, and weird in shape—to wake up in the morning
and feel them being stealthily slipped on to his breast—it seemed to him
that in the end all this would weave in the air around him invisible,
shadowy shackles.
And then he was short of money.
He said to himself very firmly that he would send Fatou away. He would
make use of these last two years to win at last his gold stripes; he
would send his old parents a small monthly remittance to make their life
more comfortable; and he could still save sufficient money to bring back
wedding presents to Jeanne Méry, and to make a respectable contribution
towards the expenses of their marriage feast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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