The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
But as I drew nearer, I saw that many of the faces were seared with sour
and angry looks, and the voices that rose round me sounded surly and
captious. The pretty compliment and praise had changed to sneers and
scoldings. The dimpled smile had wrinkled to a frown. There seemed so
little desire to please, so great a determination not to be pleased.
And the flirtations! Ah me, they had forgotten how to flirt! Oh, the
pity of it! All the jests were bitter, all the little services were
given grudgingly. The air seemed to have grown chilly. A darkness had
come over all things.
And then I awoke to reality, and found I had been sitting in my chair
longer than I had intended. The band-stand was empty, the sun had set; I
rose and made my way home through the scattered crowd.
Nature is so callous. The Dame irritates one at times by her devotion to
her one idea, the propagation of the species.
“Multiply and be fruitful; let my world be ever more and more peopled.”
For this she trains and fashions her young girls, models them with
cunning hand, paints them with her wonderful red and white, crowns them
with her glorious hair, teaches them to smile and laugh, trains their
voices into music, sends them out into the world to captivate, to enslave
us.
“See how beautiful she is, my lad,” says the cunning old woman. “Take
her; build your little nest with her in your pretty suburb; work for her
and live for her; enable her to keep the little ones that I will send.”
And to her, old hundred-breasted Artemis whispers, “Is he not a bonny
lad? See how he loves you, how devoted he is to you! He will work for
you and make you happy; he will build your home for you. You will be the
mother of his children.”
So we take each other by the hand, full of hope and love, and from that
hour Mother Nature has done with us. Let the wrinkles come; let our
voices grow harsh; let the fire she lighted in our hearts die out; let
the foolish selfishness we both thought we had put behind us for ever
creep back to us, bringing unkindness and indifference, angry thoughts
and cruel words into our lives. What cares she? She has caught us, and
chained us to her work. She is our universal mother-in-law. She has
done the match-making; for the rest, she leaves it to ourselves. We can
love or we can fight; it is all one to her, confound her.
I wonder sometimes if good temper might not be taught. In business we
use no harsh language, say no unkind things to one another. The
shopkeeper, leaning across the counter, is all smiles and affability, he
might put up his shutters were he otherwise. The commercial gent, no
doubt, thinks the ponderous shopwalker an ass, but refrains from telling
him so. Hasty tempers are banished from the City. Can we not see that
it is just as much to our interest to banish them from Tooting and
Hampstead?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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