The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
My good Madam, you polish your tables, you scour your kettles, but the
most valuable piece of furniture in the whole house you are letting to
rack and ruin for want of a little pains. You will find it in your own
room, my dear Lady, in front of your own mirror. It is getting shabby
and dingy, old-looking before its time; the polish is rubbed off it,
Madam, it is losing its brightness and charm. Do you remember when he
first brought it home, how proud he was of it? Do you think you have
used it well, knowing how he valued it? A little less care of your pots
and your pans, Madam, a little more of yourself were wiser. Polish
yourself up, Madam; you had a pretty wit once, a pleasant laugh, a
conversation that was not confined exclusively to the short-comings of
servants, the wrong-doings of tradesmen. My dear Madam, we do not live
on spotless linen, and crumbless carpets. Hunt out that bundle of old
letters you keep tied up in faded ribbon at the back of your bureau
drawer—a pity you don’t read them oftener. He did not enthuse about your
cuffs and collars, gush over the neatness of your darning. It was your
tangled hair he raved about, your sunny smile (we have not seen it for
some years, Madam—the fault of the Cook and the Butcher, I presume), your
little hands, your rosebud mouth—it has lost its shape, Madam, of late.
Try a little less scolding of Mary Ann, and practise a laugh once a day:
you might get back the dainty curves. It would be worth trying. It was
a pretty mouth once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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