The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
You would have veal. Thought you never of the price man pays for Veal?
The servants of the Golden Calf! I see them, stretched before my eyes, a
weary, endless throng. I see them toiling in the mines, the black sweat
on their faces. I see them in sunless cities, silent, and grimy, and
bent. I see them, ague-twisted, in the rain-soaked fields. I see them,
panting by the furnace doors. I see them, in loin-cloth and necklace,
the load upon their head. I see them in blue coats and red coats,
marching to pour their blood as an offering on the altar of the Calf. I
see them in homespun and broadcloth, I see them in smock and gaiters, I
see them in cap and apron, the servants of the Calf. They swarm on the
land and they dot the sea. They are chained to the anvil and counter;
they are chained to the bench and the desk. They make ready the soil,
they till the fields where the Golden Calf is born. They build the ship,
and they sail the ship that carries the Golden Calf. They fashion the
pots, they mould the pans, they carve the tables, they turn the chairs,
they dream of the sauces, they dig for the salt, they weave the damask,
they mould the dish to serve the Golden Calf.
The work of the world is to this end, that we eat of the Calf. War and
Commerce, Science and Law! what are they but the four pillars supporting
the Golden Calf? He is our God. It is on his back that we have
journeyed from the primeval forest, where our ancestors ate nuts and
fruit. He is our God. His temple is in every street. His blue-robed
priest stands ever at the door, calling to the people to worship. Hark!
his voice rises on the gas-tainted air—“Now’s your time! Now’s your
time! Buy! Buy! ye people. Bring hither the sweat of your brow, the
sweat of your brain, the ache of your heart, buy Veal with it. Bring me
the best years of your life. Bring me your thoughts, your hopes, your
loves; ye shall have Veal for them. Now’s your time! Now’s your time!
Buy! Buy!”
Oh! Children of Israel, was Veal, even with all its trimmings, quite
worth the price?
And we! what wisdom have we learned, during the centuries? I talked with
a rich man only the other evening. He calls himself a Financier,
whatever that may mean. He leaves his beautiful house, some twenty miles
out of London, at a quarter to eight, summer and winter, after a hurried
breakfast by himself, while his guests still sleep, and he gets back just
in time to dress for an elaborate dinner he himself is too weary or too
preoccupied to more than touch. If ever he is persuaded to give himself
a holiday it is for a fortnight in Ostend, when it is most crowded and
uncomfortable. He takes his secretary with him, receives and despatches
a hundred telegrams a day, and has a private telephone, through which he
can speak direct to London, brought up into his bedroom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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