The Secret Life: Being the Book of a HereticBisland, Elizabeth
Philosophy
The Secret Life: Being the Book of a Heretic
Bisland, Elizabeth
Diaries
These Spaniards say--staring stupidly at your horror--"Mas, no es
Cristianos. They are only animals." Animals!--and yet Christians dare
talk of divine mercy; of their faith having softened hearts, and
sweetened human nature. Civilization has done so, in truth, but where
this faith reigns most arbitrarily such an atrocious spectacle is
permissible; goes undenounced of its priests.
It is not the baser sort alone who love this cowardly butchery. In the
same box with ourselves sat a woman and her two daughters, evidently
members of the upper classes. The arena below was crowded with the
people--women in sulphur-coloured shawls, embroidered with sharp
blues and scarlets--men of all classes--dandies and workmen cheek by
jowl--but the rows of boxes above held the women and children of the
well-to-do, even the aristocracy. The Royal family itself patronizes
the arena.
The women, whose faces I watched instead of the shambles after the
fight began, grew devilish, a hard smile drew their lips back over
their teeth; their eyes glittered; a look of lust strained the lines
about the nose. They forced the children--some of whom cried, and
shrank from the horrid sight--to turn and see the blood and the
struggle.
I believe the secret charm of this gory game to many is the prick that
the sight of blood gives to the senses. The history of war is full of
evidence of this fact--that the sight of horrors spurs the passions. It
was curious to think that many of the people there owed their existence
to just such a stimulus as this. Cruelty thus lies, hereditarily, at
the very roots of their being; intensified in each generation.
For the same reason, I suppose, that so much of my life seems to me
a glamour of tangled shadows, elusive and shifting, with no definite
line between the real and the unreal, between to-day and all the
yesterdays--for that reason the arena's gaunt, windowless walls and
passages seemed startlingly familiar. Equally familiar the yellow,
sand-strewn circle; the glaring blue sky above the bright-coloured
maelström of faces; the whirl of fans all around the ring--as of a
circle of innumerable dancing butterflies; the cries of the venders;
the clang of the trumpets; the glitter of the tinsel and gew-gaws;
the bold rush of the black bull; the quick spatter of the applauding
hands....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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