The Serapion Brethren, Vol. IIHoffmann, E. T. A. (Ernst Theodor Amadeus)
Science
The Serapion Brethren, Vol. II
Hoffmann, E. T. A. (Ernst Theodor Amadeus)
Fiction
"Oh, God," the Commissionsrath cried, "another bankruptcy in Hamburg, I
suppose, or in Bremen, or London, to ruin me out and out! That was all
that was wanted. Oh, I'm a ruined man!"
"No," the Goldsmith said, "it's an affair of a different kind
altogether; you say that you won't allow young Edmund Lehsen to marry
Albertine, do you not?"
"What's the good of talking about such a piece of absurdity?" the
Commissionsrath replied. "I to give my daughter to this beggar of a
penciller."
"Well," said the Goldsmith, "he has painted a couple of magnificent
portraits of you and her."
"Oh, oh," cried Bosswinkel, "a fine piece of business it would be to
hand over my daughter for a couple of daubs on canvas; I've sent the
trash back to him."
"If you don't let Edmund have your daughter," the Goldsmith continued,
"he will have his revenge."
"Pretty story!" answered Bosswinkel. "What revenge is this little bit
of a beggar, who dribbles paints on to canvas, and hasn't a farthing to
bless himself with, going to take upon Commissionsrath Melchior
Bosswinkel, I should like to know?"
"I'll tell you that in a moment," said the Goldsmith. "Edmund is going
to alter your portrait in a way which you thoroughly deserve. The
kindly, smiling face he is going to turn into a sour, grumpy one, with
lowering brow, bleary eyes, and hanging lips. He will deepen the
wrinkles on the brow and cheeks, and he won't omit to indicate, in
proper colour, those grey hairs which the powder is intended to hide.
Before you, instead of the pleasant news about the lottery prize, he
will write, very legibly, the most unpleasant purport of the letter
which came to you the day before yesterday, telling you that Campbell
and Co. of London had stopped payment, addressed on the envelope to the
'Bankrupt Commissionsrath,' &c., &c. From the torn pockets of your
waistcoat he will show ducats, thalers, and treasury bills falling, to
indicate the losses you have had, and this picture will be put in the
window of the picture dealer next door to the bank in Hunter Street."
"The demon, the blackguard," the Commissionsrath cried; "he shan't do
that, I'll send for the police, I'll appeal to the courts for an
interim interdict!"
The Goldsmith said, with much tranquillity, "As soon as even fifty
people have seen this picture, that is to say, after it has been in the
window for a brief quarter of an hour, the tale will be all over the
town, with every description of addition and exaggeration. Every thing
in the least degree ridiculous which has ever been said about you, or
is being said now, will be brought up again, dressed in fresh and more
brilliant colours. Every one you meet will laugh in your face, and,
what is the worst of all, everybody will talk about your losses in the
Campbell bankruptcy, so your credit will be gone."
"Oh, Lord," said Bosswinkel, "but he must let me have the picture back,
the scoundrel? Ay; that he must, the first thing in the morning."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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