Fantasy fiction; Science fiction; Spouses -- Fiction; Subconsciousness -- Fiction
The Colonel was silent for a minute, seeming to picture his wife's
suggestion in his mind. Finally he nodded. He turned to Marc.
"Is it all right with you, damnyankee?" he asked.
"Anything's all right with me," Marc said hopelessly. "Go ahead. I
don't even give a damn anymore."
The scene that followed established a new and fascinating high in
sheer insanity. Girding his rusty loins against the first physical
effort they had been forced to in years, the Colonel busily began to
cavort about the room like a bloated rhino. Clumsily loping through
an obstacle course of plumbing appliances, the old boy found it rough
going at best. As for the Colonel's lady, she languished calmly in her
cooling tub, soaped her arms, and watched her laboring husband with
nodding approval. Marc, even beyond the point of mere resignation,
closed his eyes and waited.
"Well," the Colonel wheezed, rushing once more to the end of the room
and starting back again, "this is it!" As he ran, he trained the
pistols loosely in Marc's direction. "Here I come! Ready ... aim...!"
It was at this climactic point in the bathroom drama that the door
burst open and Toffee, closely followed by the two Blemishes, rushed
into view.
"Stop!" Toffee screamed.
In mid-gallop, the Colonel turned sharply to observe the intruders,
tripped over a clothes hamper, and descended to the floor in a
deafening roar of gunfire.
As a cloud of smoke billowed up around the gallant man from the South,
Mrs. Hunter Reynolds turned, looked briefly at Toffee and the Blemish
brothers and sank into the depths of her bath with only a small gurgle
to mark her departure.
* * * * *
Toffee ran to the window, motioning the brothers to follow. She emerged
through the rising screen of smoke just in time to see Marc's fingers,
white with tension, slip from the sill and disappear out of view.
"He's gone!" she screamed. "He's gone!"
The Blemishes crowded beside her at the window and leaned forward. They
were just in time to catch the last glimpse of Marc floating serenely
out of sight beyond the rim of the building as they watched.
"Come on!" Toffee yelled. "Up to the roof!"
"What for?" Gerald Blemish said bitterly. "He's gone, now."
"Well, at least we can wave goodbye," Toffee said. She started rapidly
toward the door.
"My!" Cecil Blemish said, picking his way carefully over the prone
figure of the Colonel. "Look at all the water in here. The old gaffer
got the water pipes, two out of two."
It was barely seconds later when the skylight door at the top of the
hotel flew open and Toffee and the matching Blemishes ran out onto the
roof. They scanned the distant sky as they moved.
"He's gone!" Toffee cried despairingly. "He's clear out of sight!"
The brothers stopped and looked at each other without hope.
"Well," Cecil muttered. "There goes everything."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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