“Not fond, exactly; the love of risk is a deeper thing--something
fundamental in us, I suppose.”
She had walked on, down the hillside, where gorse bushes pulled at her
skirts, and he was putting together last night’s impressions with
to-day’s, and thinking that if she embodied the instinctive, the
life-loving, it wasn’t in the simple, unreflecting forms that the words
usually implied. She was simple, but not in the least guileless, and her
directness was a choice among recognized complexities. It was no
spontaneous child of nature who, on the quieter hillside, where they
could talk, talked of India, now, of his life there, the people he had
known, many of whom she too knew. He knew that he was being managed,
being made to talk of what she wanted to hear, that she was still
engaged in penetrating. He was quite willing to be managed,
penetrated,--for as far as she could get; he could rely on his own
deftness in retreat before too deep a probe, though, should she discover
that for him the lessons of life had resulted in an outlook perhaps the
antipodes from her own, he guessed that her own would show no wavering.
Still, she should run, if possible, no such risk. They were to be
friends, good friends: that was, as she had said, not only an
accomplished, but a long-accomplished fact; but, even more than in
childhood, she would be a friend held at arm’s-length.
Meanwhile, unconscious, no doubt, of these barriers, Eppie walked beside
him and made him talk about himself. She knew, of course, of his
mother’s death; she did not speak of that: many barriers were her
own--she was capable of most delicate avoidances. But she asked after
his father. “He is still alive, I hear.”
“Yes, indeed, and gives me a good deal of his company.”
“Oh.” She was a little at a loss. He could guess at what she had heard
of his father. He went on, though choosing his words in a way that
showed a slight wincing behind his wish to be very frank and friendly
with her, for even yet his father made him wince, standing, as he did,
for the tragedy of his mother’s life: “He is very much alive for a
person so gone to pieces. But I can put up with him far more comfortably
than when he was less pitiable.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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