The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
He sat forward with his hands between his knees, and gazed very intently
into her face--an earnest, pleasant face with patient eyes.
"No; I don't understand," he said. "It's puzzled me a lot. You see,
your daughter disclaimed your nationality, and you offered no protest.
That's un-English. You can't change your nationality at will; it's as
much a part of yourself as the colour of your eyes. We are proud as a
race of our nationality. We are the finest nation in the world. I'm
not for giving preference to any other. I don't say I'd talk like that
to a foreigner--unless he challenged me; and then," he smiled slightly,
"I'd probably be emphatic."
Mrs Krige caught something of his humour, and smiled in sympathy. Deep
down in her heart, so jealously hidden that she almost doubted its
existence there, the undying love for her own people kept its place in
spite of the sadness and injustice her life had known.
"I felt as you do at one time," she said--"oh! for long after I was
married. My husband was a Free State Boer--one of the old type, a
little narrow and prejudiced, but a good man--an excellent husband and
father. My married life was very happy."
She folded her hands on her lap and turned aside her face and looked
away with reminiscent gaze over the sunlit landscape. Possibly she saw
anew those long dead years passing before her mind like the mirage trees
of the veld which appear only to vanish again. Matheson watched her
curiously, anticipating something of her story. How many persons in
that country, he wondered, had been hurt by the conflicting interests of
the two white races?
"And then," she added quietly, "all the happiness came to an end...
everything came to an end with the war--with those three bitter years of
struggle and hatred. The British were wrong--very wrong. I believe if
I had not been married to a Dutchman I should have felt that. It is a
black mark against our national honour."
He noticed with faint surprise that in her condemnation of her country
she associated herself with it for the first time--it might have been
unconsciously, or it might have been that, in condemning it, some
instinct of race caused her to identify herself with its disgrace.
There was a suggestion of a desire to defend in that simple connection,
to defend what she could not condone.
"You don't know," she said--"no one could know who was not directly
concerned--all the injustice of the war... I lost my husband, I lost my
son--not fighting; it wouldn't have been so hard had they died fighting
for their independence. They were both prisoners, in an internment camp
near Matjesfontein. And they died there. My boy was delicate. I don't
know... I suppose things were rough and he needed care. He developed
consumption, and died and was buried there. I was not allowed to see
him. I have never seen his grave."
Her voice was slightly tremulous, but she betrayed no other sign of
emotion, and resumed quietly with only a brief pause:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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