The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
That was precisely what Matheson did not wish; he was very willing to
remain as long as they showed equal willingness to have his company.
Each day as it passed made the thought of leaving less agreeable: there
was no doubt about it in his mind any longer; some influence had gripped
him powerfully; he was in the throes of a great emotional crisis--the
result of the magnetic power which Honor Krige exercised over him.
Nothing which he had ever experienced equalled in intensity his feeling
for her. Was it love? He did not know. If it were love, it was
different in quality from any other emotion of the kind he had known.
The thought of possession, of spending his life with her, had not
entered his mind--such a thought would have struck him then as
presumptuous. A royal princess would not have appeared to him more
inaccessible than this Dutch girl with her beauty and her ideals and her
ingrained prejudices--prejudices that stretched, an artificially fed
gulf of bitter waters, between them.
"I think you are wonderful," he said to her one day.
They were seated under the pepper trees in the garden, and the sun,
which was declining, slanted its rays through the fern-like foliage and
played in bright patterns on her face and dress. She turned her face,
with the sunlight playing upon it, towards him, and her eyes smiled
mockingly.
"I suppose many men have told you so?" he added self-consciously.
"I meet so many men on the Karroo who are likely to tell me those
things," she answered. "How often have you said that to other girls?"
"Not once," he answered truthfully.
She laughed, and the laugh sounded frankly incredulous.
"But--there is some one? ... There must be someone."
He was sensible anew as he met her gaze of the barrier which divided
them. And inexplicably her words called up the memory of a pair of
brown, disapproving eyes; of a rock-strewn coast and moonlight upon the
sea; of moonlight striking through the oleanders in a quiet road and
falling upon a serious, upturned face; of the feel of soft lips meeting
his...
"Isn't there some one?" the sceptical voice persisted.
And he answered slowly:
"I--don't--know."
He wondered why until that moment he had not given Brenda a thought.
The more dominating personality of Honor, with her surprising beauty,
had submerged the other affair entirely. In less than a month he had
almost forgotten the girl of the beach.
"Ah!" Honor exclaimed, and the note of disbelief was still
distinguishable in her voice. "There is always some one."
He found himself wishing almost fiercely that he had not admitted that
state of doubt, but had repudiated promptly the suggestion conveyed in
her question. He had put himself in a false position. There was not
the slightest foundation for her supposition. It even crossed his mind
to explain this--to go into details. He had a profound conviction that
it would be prejudicial to his interests to leave matters in this
unsatisfactory, indeterminate condition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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