“Suppose we don't try to go back,” said Dr. Dale. “Suppose we go on and
go through.”
“Where?”
“To reality.
“I know it's doubtful, I know it's dangerous,” he went on, “but I am
convinced that now we can no longer keep men's minds and souls in these
feathered nests, these spheres of illusion. Behind these veils there is
either God or the Darkness.... Why should we not go on?”
The bishop was profoundly perplexed. He heard himself speaking. “It
would be unworthy of my cloth,” he was saying.
Dr. Dale completed the sentence: “to go back.”
“Let me explain a little more,” he said, “what I mean by 'going on.' I
think that this loosening of the ties of association that bind a man to
his everyday life and his everyday self is in nine cases out of ten a
loosening of the ties that bind him to everyday sanity. One common form
of this detachment is the form you have in those cases of people who
are found wandering unaware of their names, unaware of their places
of residence, lost altogether from themselves. They have not only lost
their sense of identity with themselves, but all the circumstances of
their lives have faded out of their minds like an idle story in a book
that has been read and put aside. I have looked into hundreds of such
cases. I don't think that loss of identity is a necessary thing; it's
just another side of the general weakening of the grip upon reality, a
kind of anaemia of the brain so that interest fades and fails. There
is no reason why you should forget a story because you do not believe
it--if your brain is strong enough to hold it. But if your brain is
tired and weak, then so soon as you lose faith in your records, your
mind is glad to let them go. When you see these lost identity people
that is always your first impression, a tired brain that has let go.”
The bishop felt extremely like letting go.
“But how does this apply to my case?”
“I come to that,” said Dr. Dale, holding up a long large hand. “What
if we treat this case of yours in a new way? What if we give you not
narcotics but stimulants and tonics? What if we so touch the blood that
we increase your sense of physical detachment while at the same time
feeding up your senses to a new and more vivid apprehension of things
about you?” He looked at his patient's hesitation and added: “You'd lose
all that craving feeling, that you fancy at present is just the need
of a smoke. The world might grow a trifle--transparent, but you'd keep
real. Instead of drugging oneself back to the old contentment--”
“You'd drug me on to the new,” said the bishop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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