"He thought it extravagant to play upon wind instruments. He was the inventor of self-moving fans--wind-sails--and ventilators. He patronized Du Pont the bellows-maker--and died miserably in attempting to smoke a cigar. "His was a case in which I feel deep interest--a lot in which I sincerely sympathize." "But here," said I--"here"--and I dragged spitefully from its receptacle a gaunt, tall, and peculiar-looking form, whose remarkable appearance struck me with a sense of unwelcome familiarity--"here," said I--"here is a wretch entitled to no earthly commiseration." Thus saying, in order to obtain a more distinct view of my subject, I applied my thumb and forefinger to his nose, and, causing him to assume a sitting position upon the ground, held him, thus, at the length of my arm, while I continued my soliloquy. --"entitled," I repeated, "to no earthly commiseration. Who indeed would think of compassionating a shadow? Besides--has he not had his full share of the blessings of mortality? He was the originator of tall monuments--shot-towers--lightning-rods--lombardy-poplars. His treatise upon 'Shades and Shadows' has immortalized him. "He went early to college and studied Pneumatics. He then came home--talked eternally--and played upon the French horn. "He patronized the bag-pipes. Captain Barclay, who walked against Time, would not walk against _him_. Windham and Allbreath were his favorite writers. He died gloriously while inhaling gas--_levique flatu corrumpitur_, like the _fama pudicitiæ_ in Hieronymus.[2] He was indubitably a"---- [Footnote 2: _Tenera res in feminis fama pudicitiæ et quasi flos pulcherrimus, cito ad levem marcessit auram, levique flatu corrumpitur--maxime_, &c.--Hieronymus ad Salvinam.]