The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 6, February, 1835Various
History
The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 6, February, 1835
Various
American literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals
'"It is not strange--we see it every day--in almost every family. She
did not _tell_ me to lie--or to swindle, or to stab. No! Oh no! she
would have told me that all these things were bad--but she _taught_ me
to perform them all. She roused my _passions_ and not my _principles_
into activity. She provoked the one and suppressed the other. Did my
father reprove my improprieties, she petted me and denounced him. She
crossed his better purposes and defeated all his designs, until at
last, she made my passions too strong for my government, not less than
hers; and left me, knowing the true, yet the victim of the false. What
is more,--while my intellect, in its calmer hours, taught me that
virtue was the only source of true felicity, my ungovernable passions
set the otherwise sovereign reason at defiance, and trampled it under
foot. Yes--in that last hour of eternal retribution, if called upon to
denounce or to accuse, I can point but to one as the author of all--the
weakly, fond, misjudging, misguiding woman, who gave me birth. Within
the last hour, I have been thinking over all these things. I have been
thinking how I had been cursed in childhood, by one who surely loved me
beyond all other things beside. I can remember how sedulously she
encouraged and prompted my infant passions, uncontrolled by her reason,
and since utterly unrestrainable by my own. How she stimulated me to
artifices, and set me the example herself, by frequently deceiving my
father and teaching me to disobey and deceive him. She told me not to
lie, and she lied all day to him, on my account, and to screen me from
his anger. She taught me the catechism to say on Sunday, while during
the week, she schooled me in almost every possible form of ingenuity to
violate all its precepts.
'"She bribed me to do my duty, and hence my duty could only be done
under the stimulating promise of a reward. She taught me that God was
superior to all, and that he required obedience to certain laws, yet as
she hourly violated those laws herself in my behalf, I was taught to
regard myself as far superior to him. Had she not done all this, I had
not been here and thus: I had been what I now dare not think on. It is
all her work. The greatest enemy my life has ever known has been my own
mother."
'"This is a horrible thought, captain, yet I cannot but think it true."
'"It is true. I have analyzed my own history, and the causes of my
character and fortunes now, and I charge it all upon her. From one
influence I have traced another, until I have the sweeping amount of
twenty years of crime and sorrow and a life of hate, and probably a
death of ignominy, all owing to the first ten years of my infant
education, when the only teacher that I knew was the woman that gave me
birth."'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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