She had applied herself to her job. She had put out all her most
feminine sensibilities to catch the right note in dress and looks, for
she was nothing if not conventional. But in her heart she was simply
passing the days and waiting her chance to find Georges. As she did her
work, altered and supplemented her clothes, took little evening walks or
visited the cinema with the other girls, to all appearance just a
strapping country cousin fitting herself into new surroundings, she was,
all the time, vigilant, relentless. She drew the others down to the
station on the pretext of buying a paper at the hour the troop trains
passed or stopped. She preferred for her small needs the shops that
fronted the well-known officers’ restaurant, for Georges, she knew,
would do himself well if he had the chance. As to what exactly she would
say or do if she saw him she was not the girl to wonder. She had perfect
faith in her illusion--just to see him face to face, anyhow, anywhere.
* * * * *
Her companions with whom she worked, ate, and spent her evenings did not
annoy her. That is as much as she felt about them. Although only a year
or so her juniors, there was nothing about them to excite her jealousy
or even her respect. As she listened to them, making little muddles over
their jobs, giving way to small passions and routine indispositions,
chattering with affected solemnity or secrecy of their opinions, hopes,
fears--above all of their love affairs--she almost smiled. She put more
of herself into even the purchase of hairpins than they did into their
liaisons. Not that she was more generous or less acquisitive than they,
but simply because there was more of her. She had known real work, hard
bargains, the utter depth of passion--things undreamed of in their
little world of petty officialdom and shop-assistantship. Even the
country girls like Cécile stood mentally where she, Madeleine, had not
done since her mother died. Probably her principal minor preoccupation
(as distinct from her one great secret preoccupation) was the size of
her body. She was half a head taller and much more substantial than
most of them. She knew she was dressing herself right, somber colors,
good material and cut, little or no ornament--but her hands and feet
gave her some anxious moments, they seemed so big. She gave considerable
attention to her hands, using every means she could hear of to whiten
them, and manicuring them elaborately, bringing to the work much
patience and sense and no imagination. For her feet, she simply bought
the best she could afford, not attempting to pinch them, relying on her
strong ankles, straight back, and developed hips to keep her extremities
in proportion. She was right. Men turned to look at her often enough and
never with the superior, amused eye that she saw bent on her companions.
She did not consciously care whether men looked or not, but there was
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