Sarah felt the giggles and the impertinent voice striking like arrows
through the misty ring in which she sat. Sharpest of all was Eliza’s
laugh, introducing the question and afterwards punctuating it when it
was put. She was achingly conscious of the antipathetic audience hanging
on her lips. They were baiting her, and she knew it, and her heart
swelled with helpless rage. A passionate longing seized her to be lord
of them all for once,--just for once to fling back an answer that would
slay their smiles, put respect into their mocking voices and change
their sneers into awed surprise. If only for once the Dream and the
glory might be true,--the trap and the new clothes and Geordie and the
green front door! But nothing could be further from what they expected,
as she knew too well. They were waiting merely to hear her say what she
had often said before,--for news that there was no news or news that was
worse than none. She had faced more than one trial that day, and had
come out of them with her self-respect intact, but this unexpected
humiliation was more than she could bear. She was telling herself in
the pause that she would not answer at all, when something that she took
for the total revolt of pride spoke to the mockers through her lips.
"Ay, but there’s rare good news!" she heard herself saying in a cheerful
tone, and instantly felt her courage spring up and her heart lighten as
the lie took shape. "I’d been saving it up, Eliza, for when we were by
ourselves, but there’s no sense, I reckon, in not saying it straight
out. Geordie’s on his way home to England at this very minute, and he
says he’s a rare good lining to his jacket an’ all!"
The air changed about her at once as she had always dreamed it would,
and she heard the gasp of surprise pass from one to another like a
quick-thrown ball. Eliza started so violently that she upset her cup
and let it lie. She stared malevolently at the other’s face, her own
set suddenly into heavy lines.
"Nay, but that’s news and no mistake!" she exclaimed, striving after her
former tone, but without success. The note in her voice was clear to
her blind hearer, sending triumphant shivers through her nerves....
"Tell us again, will you, Sarah?" she added sharply. "I doubt I heard
you wrong."
"I’ll tell you and welcome till the cows come home!" Sarah said, with a
sudden sprightliness that made the Wilkinson cousin open his eyes. It
was almost as if another person had suddenly taken possession of Sarah’s
place. There was a vitality about her that seemed to change her in
every feature, an easy dignity that transformed the shabbiest detail of
her dress. Her voice, especially, had changed,--that grudging, dully
defiant voice. This was the warm, human voice of one who rejoiced in
secret knowledge, and possessed her soul in perfect security and
content.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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