The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His WifeFirebaugh, Ellen M.
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The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife
Firebaugh, Ellen M.
Physicians -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor
A sudden turn in the road brought the doctor and his wife face to face
with a young man and his sweetheart. Mary knew at a glance they were
sweethearts. They were emerging into the highway from a grassy
woods-road which led down to a little church. The young man was leading
two saddled horses.
"Why do you suppose they walk instead of riding?" asked the doctor.
"Hush! they'll hear you. Isn't she pretty?"
The young man assisted his companion to her seat in the saddle. She
started off in one direction, while he sprang on his horse and galloped
away in the other. "Here! you rascal," the doctor called, as he passed,
"why didn't you go all the way with her?"
"I'll go back tonight," the young fellow called back, dashing on at so
mad a pace that the broad rim of his hat stood straight up.
"Do you know him?"
"I know them both."
After another mile our travelers went down one long hill and up another
and stopped at a house on the hilltop where lived the patient. Here,
too, Mary chose to remain in the buggy. A wagon had stopped before a big
gate opening into the barnyard and an old man in it was evidently
waiting for someone. He looked at Mary and she looked at him; but he did
not speak and just as she was about to say good morning, he turned and
looked in another direction. When he finally looked around it seemed to
Mary it would be a little awkward to bid him good morning now, so she
tried to think what to say instead, by way of friendly greeting; it
would be a little embarrassing to sit facing a human being for some time
with not a word to break the constraint. But the more she cudgeled her
brain the farther away flew every idea. She might ask him if he thought
we were going to have a good corn crop, but it was so evident that we
were, since the crop was already made that that remark seemed inane. The
silence was beginning to be oppressive. Her eye wandered over the yard
and she noticed some peach trees near the house with some of the
delicious fruit hanging from the boughs. She remarked pleasantly, "I see
they have some peaches here." Her companion looked at her and said,
"Hey?"
"I said, 'I see they have some peaches here,'" she rejoined, raising her
voice. He curved one hand around his ear and said again, "Hey?"
"O, good gracious," thought Mary, "I wish I had let him alone."
She shrieked this time, "I only said, '_I see they have some peaches
here._'"
When the old man said, "I didn't hear ye yet, mum," she leaned back in
the carriage, fanning herself vigorously, and gave it up. She had
screamed as loud as she intended to scream over so trivial a matter.
Looking toward the house she saw a tall young girl coming down the walk
with something in her hand. She came timidly through the little gate and
handed a plate of peaches up to the lady in the carriage, looking
somewhat frightened as she did so. "I didn't hear ye," she explained,
"but Jim came in and said you was a-wantin' some peaches."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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