After reading the story three times I carried it back to the manuscript
clerk; and when I had allowed sufficient time for it to be returned, I
wrote you a long letter, telling how I had come to read the story, and
making a careful criticism and analysis of both its defects and its
merits. I cannot tell you what a labor of love that letter was, or how
much greater pains I took over your book than I have ever taken over
any writing of my own. What was perhaps unfair, after pointing out the
inconclusiveness of your ending, I sketched what I claimed was the
logical end to the story. Thinking as I did that I knew the original in
your mind, I was more influenced by my knowledge of him than I was by
the character in your book, and therefore possibly my inference was
unjust. But in hopes of saving you from Mr. Whitely, I pictured a
sequel in which your heroine found only greater loneliness in her
loveless union, her husband’s love proving a tax, and not a boon; and
marriage, instead of broadening her life, only bent and narrowed it by
just so much as a strong-willed and selfish man would inevitably cramp
the life of one over whom law and public opinion gave him control.
I was richly rewarded by your letter of thanks. You were so winning in
your sweet acceptance of all my criticisms, and so lovable in your
simple gratitude, that I would have done a thousand times the work to
earn such a letter. Yet even in this guerdon I could not escape the
sting of my unhappy lot; for, unable to reconcile my distant conduct
with the apparent trouble I had taken, you asked me to dinner, leaving
me to select the day, and spoke of the pleasure it would give you to
have an opportunity to talk over the book with me.
I can think of few greater delights than to have gone over your story,
line by line and incident by incident. My love pleaded with me to take
the chance, pointing out that it would do you no harm, but on the
contrary aid you, and I found a dozen specious reasons; but tempt me as
they might, I always came back to the truth that if you knew who I
really was you would not invite me, nor accept a favor at my hands. In
the end I wrote you that my time was so mortgaged that I must deny
myself the pleasure. A small compensation was my offer that if you
chose to rewrite the story and send me the manuscript, I would gladly
read it over again and make any further suggestions which occurred to
me. You thanked me by letter gracefully, but I was conscious of your
bewilderment in the very care with which you phrased your note; and
when next we met I could see that I had become more an enigma than
ever,—for which there is indeed small wonder.
God keep you, my darling.
XVIII
_March 9._ What seemed my misfortune proved quite the reverse. You
evidently mentioned to Agnes my refusing to dine with you, and the next
time I saw her she took me to task for it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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