How many years lay between those two deaths--and what years! The
comparison struck my mother too; she did not speak for a while--then she
whispered: "How like him she is!" She bent over the bed, pressed a kiss
on the ice-cold brow, and kneeling at the foot of the bed, she prayed.
This trying ordeal, of which I had hardly ventured to dream, she herself
had sought in so natural, so simple a way. . . . Since then I have had
many other tokens of the absolute blamelessness of my mother, I have
heard words uttered by him who had contrived and arranged the whole
crime, which fully exonerated the noble woman; but there was no need of
them. The sight of her kneeling beside the dead sister of my dear father
had sufficed to exorcise the phantom.
After her prayer, she expressed a wish to remain in the room; but I
objected, fearing that the trial would be too severe for her strength,
and induced her to go downstairs with me. She was too much affected to
sleep, and she begged of me to stay with her for a while. I complied
with joy, so afraid was I that when out of her sight I might be
revisited by the hallucinations that had been so completely banished by
her demeanour. I felt myself once more so entirely her child for this
night, that I was in delight with her least actions, her slightest
gestures, just as I used to be in my real childhood. I admired the skill
with which she instantly transformed the chimney corner of the salon
into a quiet little retreat, just the place for a comfortable long talk.
She made me arrange the screen so as to shut in the sofa, and place a
little table within its shelter; on this she set out her travelling
cloak, her smelling-bottle, and my cigarettes. She put on a white
dressing-gown, wrapped round her head and shoulders a black-lace
mantilla, and when she was settled snugly on the sofa she tucked round
her a soft covering of pink wool decked with ribbons. She leaned her
cheek on one of the two little red silk cushions that she used in the
railway carriage, and inhaled some wood violets which Julie had placed
in a little vase. The scent of the flowers mingled with the perfume of
her garments and her hair, and I liked to see her thus, to revive my
earliest impressions of her by the aid of her refined luxuriousness.
Above all I liked her to talk as she now talked, showing her mind to me,
and letting so many recollections escape from it. She had begun by
questioning me about my aunt's illness, and then she went on to speak of
my father. This was very rare with her; it was also rare for her and me
to be so familiar and so united. It was a strange sensation to hear her
tell the story of her marriage in that salon, filled with the relics of
the dead, and with the ever present remembrance of the letters which I
had read that day in my mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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