“And I have thought of you every moment,” he continued in a plaintive,
reproachful tone, “and dreamed of you—and day-dreamed of you—” There
was a spiteful smile around his lips as he added, “In my day-dreaming
you could not shun me—you couldn’t push me away. You see, there is some
advantage in being an imaginative poet even though you despise him—”
The color was rising in her face, her breast heaved. His words were like
the suggestive passages in the novels she was forbidden to read but
which she had read clandestinely.
“You must not say these things to me,” she presently said, catching her
breath, her cheeks burning.
“Why shouldn’t I? I love you. I do not care who knows it. I lie awake in
the darkness of my room visualizing your presence close to me. You can’t
forbid my loving you—”
There were unshed tears in his half-closed eyes. There were tears in his
voice. It was his vision, his words of despair, that brought the tears.
“How can you talk this way, Albert.”
Her voice was soft, caressing; there was tenderness—a soothing
tenderness—in the manner she pronounced his name. “You know, it is—”
she paused as if she could not utter what was in her mind—“You know
it’s impossible—”
“Why impossible?” His voice changed quickly and he spoke rapidly,
impulsively. “Impossible because I am a poor poet, because I have no
gold to offer you, because—” He checked himself.
She was pensively silent, which gave him hope. On their way to the house
she seemed more solicitous about the things that interested him.
That evening Aunt Betty was more demonstrative in her hospitality to
him. She prevailed upon him to stay a few days longer, and he saw in
this, too, a hopeful sign, He saw connection between her attitude and
his talk with Hilda.
He spent a hilarious evening. He was his old self again, the loveable,
witty boy whom the family had met in Gunsdorf a few years ago. Before he
went to bed he wrote letters home. One to his mother, telling her of the
wonderful time he was having at Uncle Leopold’s villa, and begging her
to thank Aunt Betty for her many kindnesses to him; another to his
sister, in which he guardedly told her of Hilda’s beauty and loveliness;
and still another to his devoted friend, Christian Lutz. To him he
poured out his whole heart. He told him of his great passion for Hilda,
of the unmistakable signs of reciprocity, of his great happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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