He rose from his work and, without saying a word to anyone, left the
bank. He overheard Mr. Elfenbein mumble something about his idleness but
he did not care. A thousand needles were pricking at the base of his
brain. He could not stand still. With cane in hand he sauntered along
the Jungfernstieg, listlessly watched the swans in the Alster basin, and
finally landed in the Swiss Pavilion, Hamburg’s most festive café.
VII.
When he next visited his uncle’s summer home and met Hilda he sought in
vain for a trace of self-consciousness in her countenance. She received
him as cordially and as calmly as Aunt Betty. She inquired about his
progress at the bank, whether he had made friends at Hamburg, quite
indifferently. She smilingly “hoped” that his impressions of “the vulgar
Hamburgers”—a phrase he had used—had changed. He scented a challenge
in this remark and rushed to prove the assertion.
The conversation was soon interrupted. Aunt Betty joined them. And she
usually managed to be around whenever Albert talked to Hilda.
One afternoon he spied Hilda alone.
He had been wandering around from ennui. He was almost sorry that he had
come here. He found life here as monotonous as in Hamburg; at times even
more so. There was here too much enforced etiquette and formality to
suit his independent spirit. Here he was not himself. His uncle, his
aunt, the guests—this time there were a few dignitaries, officials and
such—everyone was so proper, the talk was so stereotyped, that he found
himself in a state of boredom. Hilda was the only person to relieve the
monotony, but she seemed hedged about on all sides. Boldly he made for
where she was seated.
He felt that she knew of his approach, but she gave no sign, except that
she appeared more absent minded than usual.
“Why do you avoid me, Hilda?” he begged. He did not realize that unto
the lover that begs nothing shall be given.
“It’s best that I should.”
She was looking away from him. She was seated as if posing, her left
elbow on her knee.
“Hilda, don’t my verses mean anything to you?”
“I like your rhymes very much—I have often wondered how you could think
of all those rhymes—”
He was beside himself. So that was all his verses meant to her. They
were well rhymed! They were mere beads strung on a string—not even a
rosary!
“Why did you not write to me?—why didn’t you at least acknowledge the
receipt of my poems?” There was a cry of humiliation in his voice.
She was silent for a moment. She knitted her brows as if studying how to
put her thoughts into words. Then her face darkened; animation suddenly
leaped into her sea-green eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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