“You mustn’t think of me, Albert,” she said, without raising her eyes.
“It’s impossible.” The last few words were spoken under her breath,
scarcely audible.
Silence. He did not plead, he made no attempt at persuasion. There was
the finality of death in her tone.
He returned to the city in a state of utter hopelessness. Conquest was
denied everywhere.
He imputed to her a thousand motives for rejecting him; he blamed his
uncle; he saw his aunt at the bottom of it. His sorrow deepened as the
days passed. He sat in his room and brooded and then wandered through
the streets like a restless vagrant. He was telling himself he would
never survive this blow, and out of his poignant pain and the anguish of
his soul sprang verses of despair.
His agony had become unendurable. Nothing mattered now. He did not care
whether he pleased his uncle; he did not care whether he stayed at the
bank or was dismissed. His sorrow was unbearable. He had to talk, to
some one about it. He finally unbosomed himself to his friend,
Christian. It was nearly midnight, his tallow candle sputtering.
X.
Having finished the letter he left his room. He meant to take a stroll,
as he often did late at night when despair seized him.
On his way out, Frau Rodbertus greeted him cheerily, “_Guten Abend_.”
“_Guten Abend_,” he returned sulkily, and was about to pass her.
“_Bon soir_,” another voice called.
He paused. He recognized the voice of Eugenie Chauraux, the girl of whom
he had caught a glimpse on the first day of his arrival here. He had
since met her a number of times. She was a frequent visitor at Frau
Rodbertus’. He had often admired her luminous brown eyes and black hair
and her beautiful hands. Her hands particularly attracted him. They were
not small but owing to her long fingers they seemed like small palm
leaves, and they appeared peculiarly soothing when shaking hands with
her; in spite of her warm clasp her hand was cooling.
Eugenie always talked French to him. She had told him she was glad to
find one who spoke her native tongue so well and that she detested the
French spoken by most Germans. Albert was not averse to flattery. He had
often remained chatting with her while the sly widow would steal out of
the room and leave “the children” alone. Frau Rodbertus was childless
and was very fond of Eugenie. She was also fond of her lodger. She
mothered him, and he liked to be mothered. She would frequently scold
him for his peevishness in a gentle, motherly tone and would cater to hi
whims. At times he would act towards her as if she were his mother. If
his handkerchiefs were not easily found in the proper place, or when he
forgot to send his linen to the washerwoman, or if an expected letter
had not come, he would storm like a spoiled child as if Frau Rodbertus
were to blame, and she would laugh or scold him with maternal good
nature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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