He might have spared himself all anxiety on this last subject. The
wealth of that India to which he was bound would not have bribed Menie
Gray to have left her father's roof against her father's commands; still
less when, deprived of his two assistants, he must be reduced to the
necessity of continued exertion in his declining life, and therefore
might have accounted himself altogether deserted, had his daughter
departed from him at the same time. But though it would have been her
unalterable determination not to accept any proposal of an immediate
union of their fortunes, Menie could not, with all a lover's power
of self-deception, succeed in persuading herself to be satisfied with
Richard's conduct towards her. Modesty, and a becoming pride, prevented
her from seeming to notice, but could not prevent her from bitterly
feeling, that her lover was preferring the pursuits of ambition to
the humble lot which he might have shared with her, and which promised
content at least, if not wealth.
“If he had loved me as he pretended,” such was the unwilling conviction
that rose on her mind, “my father would surely not have ultimately
refused him the same terms which he held out to Hartley. His objections
would have given way to my happiness, nay, to Richard's importunities,
which would have removed his suspicions of the unsettled cast of
his disposition. But I fear--I fear Richard hardly thought the terms
proposed were worthy of his acceptance. Would it not have been natural
too, that he should have asked me, engaged as we stand to each other,
to have united our faith before his quitting Europe, when I might either
have remained here with my father, or accompanied him to India, in quest
of that fortune which he is so eagerly pushing for? It would have been
wrong--very wrong--in me to have consented to such a proposal, unless
my father had authorised it; but surely it would have been natural that
Richard should have offered it? Alas! men do not know how to love like
women! Their attachment is only one of a thousand other passions and
predilections,--they are daily engaged in pleasures which blunt their
feelings, and in business which distracts them. We--we sit at home to
weep, and to think how coldly our affections are repaid!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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