A time may come, when he may see his folly; I hope, before it be too
late to repair it. Why should such a man marry? Or why did fate lead him
to our innocent retreat? Oh! why did I foolishly mistake a rambling
disposition, and a transient liking, for a permanent attachment? But why
do I run on thus? Dear Louisa, you will think me far gone in a phrenzy.
But, believe me, I will ever deserve your tender affection.
JULIA STANLEY.
LETTER XV.
TO Lady STANLEY.
Good heavens! what a variety of emotions has your last letter excited in
my breast! Surely, my Julia did not give it a second perusal! I can make
allowance for the expressions of gratitude which you (in a manner
lavish, not) bestow on the Baron. But oh! beware, my beloved sister,
that your gratitude becomes not too warm; that sentiment, so laudable
when properly placed, should it be an introduction to what my fears and
tenderness apprehend, would change to the most impious.--You already
perceive a visible difference between him and your husband--I assert, no
woman ought to make a comparison,--'tis dangerous, 'tis fatal. Sir
William was the man of your choice;--it is true you were young; but
still you ought to respect your choice as sacred.--You are still young;
and although you may have seen more of the world, I doubt your
sentiments are little mended by your experience. The knowledge of the
world--at least so it appears to me--is of no further use than to bring
one acquainted with vice, and to be less shocked at the idea of it. Is
this then a knowledge to which we should wish to attain?--Ah! believe
me, it had been better for you to have blushed unseen, and lost your
sweetness in the desart air, than to have, in _the busy haunts of men_,
hazarded the privation of _that peace which goodness bosoms ever_. Think
what I suffer; and, constrained to treasure up my anxious fears in my
own bosom, I have no one to whom I can vent my griefs: and indeed to
whom could I impart the terrors which fill my soul, when I reflect on
the dangers by which my sister, the darling of my affections, is
surrounded? Oh, Julia! you know how fatally I have experienced the
interest a beloved object has in the breast of a tender woman; how ought
we then to guard against the admission of a passion destructive to our
repose, even in its most innocent and harmless state, while we are
single!--But how much more should _you_ keep a strict watch over every
outlet of the heart, lest it should fall a prey to the insidious
enemy;--you respect his silence;--you pity his sufferings.--Reprobate
respect!--abjure pity!--they are both in your circumstances dangerous;
and a well-experienced writer has observed, more women have been ruined
by pity, than have fallen a sacrifice to appetite and passion. Pity is a
kindred virtue, and from the innocence and complacency of her
appearance, we suspect no ill; but dangers inexplicable lurk beneath the
tear that trembles in her eye; and, without even knowing that we do so,
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