Myra came in and began to remove the tea-things—Myra, gaunt, with her
impassive, inexpressible face, correct in black; silk blouse, stuff
skirt, silk apron. Olivia, disturbed in her efforts to solve the riddle
of existence, swerved in her chair and half-humorously sought the first
human aid to hand.
“Myra, tell me. Why do you go on living?”
Myra made no pause in her methodical activity.
“God put me into the world to live. It’s my duty to live,” she replied
in her toneless way. “And God ordained me to live so that I should do my
duty.”
“And what do you think is your duty?” Olivia asked.
“You, of all people in the world, ought to know that,” said Myra,
holding the door open with her foot, so as to clear a passage for the
tea-tray.
Olivia rested her elbows on the arms of the chair and put her
finger-tips to her temples. She felt at once rebuked and informed with
knowledge. Never before had the Sphinx-like Myra so revealed herself.
Probably she had not had the opportunity, never having found herself
subjected to such direct questioning. Being so subjected, she replied
with the unhesitating directness of her nature. The grace of humility
descended on Olivia. What fine spirit can feel otherwise than humble
when confronted with the selfless devotion of a fellow-being? And
further humbled was she by the implicit declaration of an ideal, noble
and purposeful, such as her mind for the past few months had not
conceived. This elderly, spinsterly foundling, child of naught, had,
according to her limited horizon, a philosophy—nay, more—a religion of
life which she unswervingly followed. According to the infinite scale
whereby human values ultimately are estimated, Olivia judged herself
sitting in the galley of Lydia Dawlish as of far less account than Myra,
her butt and her slave from earliest infancy.
She rose and looked around the prettiness of taste and colour with which
she had transformed the original dully-furnished room, and threw up her
arm in a helpless gesture. What did it all mean? What was she doing
there? On what was she squandering the golden hours of her youth? To
what end was she using such of a mind and such of a soul as God had
given her? At last, to sell herself for furs and food and silk cushions,
and for the society of other women clamorous of nothing but furs and
food and silk cushions, to a man like Sydney Rooke—without giving him
anything in return save her outward shape for him to lay jewels on and
exhibit to the uninspiring world wherein he dwelt?
Far better return to Medlow and lead the life of a clean woman.
Myra entered. “You’re not dining out to-night?”
“No, thank God!” said Olivia. “I’ll slip on any old thing and go
downstairs.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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